Monday, April 2, 2012

Linger Longer

clouds over the Indian Ocean

I like the way the clouds are hanging in the photo above. It was a lovely day flowing into a lovely evening when I took that picture and there was just nothing to do in that moment but stop and watch the lazy fluffy clouds floating in on the breeze. They just hang there as the sun goes down and the waves come in.

Recently I've noticed I could stand to cultivate a little of that -just hanging there- mentality. My daughter spent the weekend with her grandparents two weeks ago while I worked on the house and prepped for the workshop. I noticed that even with her gone I had a hard time slowing down. I couldn't sit still for dinner more than just long enough to eat my meal. I couldn't stop myself from moving around the house until almost 24 hours after she left when I allowed myself one of my favorite indulgences: a 5pm mini-nap.

And since her return, and our decision to move houses I've been like a tightly wound spring. Any free instant I bounce into action to clear a cupboard of clutter, or to plan plan plan for the next thing I have to do. I'm doing mountains of laundry and baking up a storm to start to clear the pantry. While I have made a point to get on the mat daily - I'm scheduled so close that the instant savasana is finished I'm springing into action on my next activity.

The result? I feel like s---. crummy. tight. irritated. Vata deranged, pitta deranged, kapha depleted. My body hurts and I'm running a constant headache due to my shoulders trying to eat my neck... yikes! This isn't what I'm hoping to offer myself or my students.

In the last day or so I've been trying to downshift. I'm trying my best to open up my schedule with even the tiniest of windows so that I can indeed come out of savasana to just sit there a few minutes before running on to the next thing, maybe even journal.

Allowing myself to linger in the moment and the next moment gives me a little bit of space in my brain. Lingering over my delicious meal, over a hug with my sweetie, and certainly after my practice lets it all sink in so that I actually notice what is happening right then and there.

I guess what I'm trying to do is: Linger in the Present. What a gift! Rather than running headlong forward into the next item. It sounds lovely and refreshing. The few moments I've been able to do it have been exceptional. Let's see how it goes for the next few weeks.

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