Thursday, July 19, 2012

Heart in Hand

Recently I've really been craving my teachers.  I realized I haven't been with them in almost a year which is a bit of a challenge.  Part of why I crave being around them is that I feel like I can be totally vulnerable with them and they see, allow, acknowledge, and support me in that.  When my heart is full or heavy I want to be with them.  In tender spots and transformational times I want a trusted guide.

It is kind of like I'm walking into the room holding my heart in my hands saying "Please, take this.  I can't hold it forever.  Please hold this for me while I take a deep breath."

I had that image come to me a few weeks ago and I think it sums things up pretty well.  A moment after that image came to mind I realized I am a teacher too.  Oh My Lord.  And that plenty of people can be walking into the room with me, heart in hand, wishing and hoping for me to take them sweetly, hold on and give support while they sort through whatever must be sorted through.

Holy mother of responsibility.  In that instant I restarted paying very very close attention to what I was offering for each class, and how I was offering it.  There are days and weeks when planning and being prepared appropriately is really really challenging.  I don't teach very many classes, I don't know where the time goes, but it does.  There are times when I am tempted to blow off preparation because I am too tired.  (sometimes I DO blow it off which can be magic or disaster depending on the night!)  But I'm working hard at remembering the importance of this profession even in the midst of whatever may be happening in my personal life.

Many people walk into the room and place their hearts in my hands for safe keeping for the hour and a half.   It is my duty and privelidge and honor to be the holder for them.

 May my hands be open, may my arms be strong, may be heart be always full to overflowing.  And may these lovely souls know the goodness of Love in every moment.

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