You know that phrase: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. I couldn't stand the heat. To be honest, the temperature of my kitchen was already near boiling. Not one thing was drastic, but the combination of doing deep soul dredging work in coaching, my daughter being sick, my husband working more than usual, the impending weekend with plenty of work and no babysitter -- and a general feeling of blah that attends February for me was already wearing me thin to almost breaking down.
Throwing in the hot oil of Anusara plus all the internet feedback raised the temperature to a point that I simply couldn't stand it any more. I kept telling myself to wait until Feb 29th (leap day) to make a decision on Anusara, but I couldn't wait. Something had to give, and since nothing else could - Anusara was it. So in part, my life stress had something to do with my decision. Well... it was that and all the reasons I listed.
As soon as I made the decision I felt better. I stopped eating all the sugar in my house and sat back down to meditate and practice. I do think it's a good move for me. I don't yet know if it'll be permanent. But, as I was driving around this morning I realized this untold part of the story is just as valid as all others. I'm human and the stress got to me. I'm learning learning learning. Give me the lesson and see if I don't behave differently next time. (this is my record book)
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