Let's see. First on the agenda the HM section, HM:
A yes, well you're a horrible mother, you are disconnected from your little one, you hate being a mom. Her clothes are a wreck, you can't seem to do anything right, and she keeps growing up on you and you're not even paying attention. Have you seen her breakfast lately, and how much TV is she actually watching these days?
And next up we have HT sector:
You are a Horrible Teacher. You literally stink at teaching yoga. Your themes fall flat and don't make sense. Students just don't get it. You'll never, and I mean NEVER, be good enough to get Certified. Seriously you should just quit
Also reporting today BS department
Well, I've lost my notes but I don't need them to tell you how much your body sucks. It is so weak and did you notice that little bit of fat over on the right hip, and how much your bum is turning into flab. I mean you're not fat... but you're definitely getting there. FAST. You have no stamina to speak of and omg you're getting gray hairs and as always those circles under your eyes oy!
General suckage, we'll hear from you now too:
I mean, well, you're just a bad person all around. You'll always be alone, you know. you don't take care of your friends, you don't call your brothers, you only think of yourself
Whiners here too?
It's really really hard! You'll never feel happy again, EVER.
well... you're a terrible mother, And you're a horrible person, and you're a bad teacher -- i mean will you EVER master hands on adjustments. You feed your daughter crappy food. You eat when you're not hungry. You should listen to your body more. You should sleep more. You should call your grandmothers. Your yoga practice is not what it should be. You should spend less time on the internet. Seriously curl up and die. Your clothes are all wrong, your hair is too short ....
I SAID ORDER!
Now. Everyone has had their say? Yes, I see. The Chair will respond... SUCK IT, IBSC !!! I will no longer be believing any of your crap, because it is all Lies. Thank-you. Any more closing remarks? (oh it seems everyone has left) With that, we're adjourned.
Have you laid down the law with your IBSC lately?
Don't know the IBSC? Let me explain because each of us has our own personal IBSC -- Itty Bitty Shitty Committee (Todd and Ann's label). It's the department of our ego that when allowed to run amok will feed us crappy toxic thoughts designed to stop us and keep us from doing anything. Then it will 'should' all over the place until we are locked down beaten and bruised and literally unable to fight back. There's apparently no enemy to fight because it's all in our heads. And the worst part is: We BELIEVE every single word the IBSC says because it is specifically branded just for us. Every bit of it. We literally eat the shit right up and then are confused and wonder why we feel so toxic inside.
My life coach from Handel Group, Hildie, has been reminding me a lot lately not to let my IBSC get the best of me. She's been helping me to purge the crap and then fight back with the best loving, affirming, and truthful words I can muster. She says the best thing to do with anything that is plaguing us is to bring our awareness to it, then it immediately loses its power. Kind of like being afraid of a dark corner until you shine a flashlight in it or turn on the lights and see that nothing is really there. It's hard to hide in the darkness when the lights are turned on.
I am still a ways off from having the lights fully turned on in this corner of my ego. (my IBSC was running rampant again this morning... shut up already!!) But just this little bit of awareness is already helping me see how powerful my thoughts are... and to remember that that's all they are, thoughts, and thoughts can change.
With that, my IBSC is losing members one by one and I'm sure will be defunct any day now. And if you catch me 'shoulding' anywhere I'm not supposed to be just let me know and I'll clean up my own mess right away.
The best upside of this? Yesterday, after I cleaned up after my IBSC and did the work necessary to get there, my husband looked at me and told me I looked "beautiful." I looked in the mirror, that cloudy face was gone and I was clear and detoxed. I DID look Beautiful. Because I AM. (and I can write that without my IBSC getting in the way!)
Contemplation: Have you caught up with your IBSC lately? What lies is it feeding you and how do you work with them.
More? Check out Bernadette Birney's Shut the Fuck up post. This is exactly the work we can all do.