What is....

Here is what I know....

Get on your mat and you feel better.

Be in community and you feel better.

Sit down and get quiet and you feel better. And if it's outside you doubly feel better.

Even in the midst of upheaval and the world turning upside down, Life feels better when the heart is anchored.

Did you ever watch the documentary Ashtanga, NY. It's about Pattabhi Jois's visit to NYC which happened to coincide with the attack on the World Trade Center. He was there. And you know what he did? He just kept on practicing, kept on teaching and practicing. And more students than ever came to their mats to be with him. Because, in times of chaos the practice remains. In times of beauty, happiness, ultimate BLISS the practice is there. In times of ugliness, questioning, challenge - the practice is there. In times of beauty happiness and bliss the community exists outside and within... and so in challenge too the community exists outside and within.

A friend recently said something to the same effect... that it's easy to get spun up in all that is of the world, especially when I'm spending more time on the internet than on my mat.... but coming to class reminds her, reminds me, reminds all of us. This is OK. I, personally, am OK. And look, here is a community of beautifully imperfect people all striving just like me to make sense of a world that is changing faster than ever.

So, in times of challenge this is what I think: Hug your kula. Hug yourself. Hug your Heart, go deep and BREATHE.

Put a Smile on your Face

I watched the documentary Enlighten Up! the other day. It has been out for a while now and is available on Netflix instant. The super brief synopsis is that the filmmaker, Kate, loves yoga and decides to recruit a total newbie Nick (who happens to be a journalist) to take on yoga for 6 months. She hopes to prove that "yoga can transform anyone." He agrees to "regular" practice and she carts him around to great teachers in NYC, in the countryside outside NYC, to Hawaii, and ultimately to India to study and interview with both Pattabhi Jois and BKS Iyengar. He also goes with another man he's met on his journey, to an ashram where he meets an enlightened swami. (Just writing this makes me wonder, how come we don't have tons of enlightened swamis just sitting around America ready to meet us and explain the intricacies of life. That would be pretty rad, No?) Ok. So that's the nutshell. You can watch it if you want to find out what happens. This is not an opinion piece on the film.

Instead I offer you the insight I got from watching. Whenever Nick was with a yogi/yogini who'd studied for a long while, someone who was a master teacher on the path I noticed something about that person. No matter how fierce that person was as a teacher or a speaker during the interview, they were also quick to Laugh, and to laugh fully. They were so darn Happy.

A few months ago my boss asked for a statement from each teacher about why we do yoga. I have to admit, I didn't email her back. It was because I couldn't boil it down to the two sentences she was asking for. But now I'm realizing.

I do yoga to be happy.

The end.

Just to be stinking happy. Over time my definition of what happiness is, and then what makes me happy has changed. I remember when I was in World Religion 101 the professor said that upon reaching deeper states of enlightenment, one would drop the earlier stages. His explanation was that when we were younger we played with Barbie dolls, and now that we're more mature, we don't have any interest in those anymore. That's how the idea of happiness evolves for me.

At first, going to yoga class and sweating and moving my body made me feel happy. Then doing a handstand on my own (wall assisted mind you) for the first time made me happy. Then being in community. Then being with amazing teachers that touch my soul. Then deep deep learning. Until one day I met my own Heart pulsing with love and now, probably nothing could make me happier in my sadana. It's to the point that I've logged enough time in the eternal space of beauty inside that even when I'm down... I'm still happy. Now the asana, pranayama, meditation time are there to deepen the happiness, and to clear away the dust that accumulates through my day. It didn't happen overnight, but through yoga I got happy, and am getting happier in a real true sense of the word.

I hope to soon become much quicker to laugh too. That part of me has yet to blossom into fullness. I'm reserved in my inner happiness. But all is coming. "Practice, practice, practice, practice. That is the method" so says Pattabhi Jois in the film. Happiness. What a sweet practice to have.

7 for Spring!

I counted it out... there are seven more Mondays until the Equinox when Spring officially begins. In my opinion, it can't come fast enough. I know this winter has been extremely mild (it's almost 70 degrees here today), but February always seems to drag me down.

To keep our spirits up and our practice up during the doldrums of the year, I'm putting out a little challenge:

Seven for Spring

1. Pick your Seven top feel-good poses. These should be poses that never fail to make you feel good. Poses that inspire or challenge you. That put you in an awesome mood. I also suggest that they be active (not restorative) so that you're also activating your energy when you practice. Maybe choose something you don't always practice but you find fun!
2. Make a randomly numbered list of them.
3. Add your numbered list to the comments of this post... or email it to me, and include if you're going to blog along about it. And keep a copy of the list for yourself.

Each Monday from now until Spring I will choose a random number 1-7 and post it here and on facebook. That is your party pose for the week. Your job is to put that pose into every practice you do that week. You can post how it's going in responses to posts here or you can post them on my facebook page.... even email or facebook a photo of the pose.

At the end of the seven weeks you won't win a prize or anything. BUT spring will be here, your practice will have kept up during the month of February (not a small feat for me). And, you may just inspire and be inspired by the others who practice along.

Sound good?

We'll officially start on Monday February 6th, but you can join in at any time. I'll keep a running list of poses on the side of this page. Just practice right along! Enjoy!

Friday Quote

It is so easy to close down to risk, to protect ourselves

against change and growth. But no baby bird emerges

without first destroying the perfect egg sheltering it.

We must risk being raw and fresh and awkward.

For without such openness, life will not penetrate

us anew. Unless we are open we will not be filled.

- Patricia Monaghan

The Pie that (almost) ruined my day

I am, well, WAS a cranky lady today. It happens to the best of us. Ugh. It's really all my own doing and is a reminder to Pay Attention or live with the Consequences. Why, hello Karma, nice to see you again.

Let's rewind, shall we. Remember on Monday it was my husband's birthday? Well, his favorite birthday treat is Key Lime Pie. It is awesome and he completely finished his by Tuesday night. So yesterday I made another one (seeing as how Babe and I'd barely gotten a taste of the first one). Yesterday was uneventful and he worked late not getting home until around 10:15. Around 10:20 that darn pie started calling to us in it's sweet yet tart yet tangy yet cool yet creamy voice saying we just had to taste a tiny bite. Really the oreo crust shouldn't be left alone there in the fridge unaccompanied, right? So we did. I had the smallest of pieces. But it was at 10:20 pm (when I'm usually lights out at 10, mind you)

That was IT. I stayed up late reading. Then I tossed and turned all night unable to get to sleep and stay asleep with the strange dreams...

That pie set me up for the crankiest day.. no early morning practice as I like to do on Thursdays before teaching, a weird disconnectedness in my teaching, (a lovely visit with a friend) and then shortness with my daughter as she came out from school.

Things were not looking good. Thank goodness, I woke up and decided I didn't want to go down with the ship. I looked at my daughter who was singing a crazy song not to annoy the bajesus out of me but because she was just so darn happy. And I decided to borrow from her.

For the first few minutes, switching from crankmeister to happy-go-lightly was really challenging. But then I settled in. Blowing bubbles for her reminded me to enjoy taking deep breaths. Being the soundtrack for her dance party reminded me to stop and sing once in a while. And demanding that I practice asana good and hard during her nap, then eat a healthful snack were the final switches to flip. I'm not totally better. I could use a little more sleep. A little more quiet time with no agenda today. But at least I'm not about to take anybody's head off anymore.

It reminds me of what Todd said at the workshop in the fall: "Let your afterwards be your teacher." Of course, I've learned the Don't eat chocolate after 8pm, and Don't stay up too late before you have to work in the morning lessons quite a few times. And I'll probably learn them again, but at least now I'm paying attention to it. And at least now I'm starting to learn that I can save a sinking ship. It doesn't all have to fall apart, instead I can fight for every single moment until a switch is made. I'm learning how much is in my control. Inevitably, I do switch back to bliss-ish, that's my ground of being, you know.

So. that's my day, take what you will.

Painted in Celebration

green food coloring from pie-making and a henna tattoo honoring a friend

It is Monday and I am filled up. I am green and brown and smiling. It is gray and foggy and cold outside and I am warm and juicy and inspired inside. I am full. This is a magical feeling.

This weekend was all about Service and Celebration and I am marveling at how energized and enlivened I feel coming out of it. On Saturday I hosted a Blessingway/Mother Blessing for a friend who is expecting her first child. It was a powerful circle of women which reminded me just how important it is to have deep real friends, and how important the task of Mothering really is.

And that whether you have children or not you may quite deeply engage in Mothering. Because the very first person you can Mother is yourself. What a gift you could give the world to truly nurture, love, and embrace yourself in the way that your own mother could not even know how to do. And from there we are each invited to be Mother to each other. Mother in the most accepting loving and supportive way possible. And even men can Mother I think. Wouldn't that be an amazing world, if men were Mothering others the way the tender-hearted ones Mother their own children. I think it's possible.

From the Blessingway to the Kula Jam where the studio was packed with new eager faces who delighted in exploration and community. As the "leader" of sorts of Saturday's Kula Jam I was invited into service of all the beautiful souls. In times past a schedule like that: the Blessing then the Jam: would've felt too much, too exhausting, too stressful... Saturday it felt like a gift. A magical moment to help people have fun explore and feel connected. Saturday was community day... even on into the night when we gathered with our newly forming supper club.

Sunday teaching and practicing and time with friends and the gift of rest to my body.

And today is Monday. And I am full. And it is my Husband's 39th birthday.

Again, a cause for celebration and service. A few years ago I wasn't home on his birthday. I went to a yoga workshop with my teacher. I forgot to wish him happy birthday as he stayed home and watched our one-year-old. I will never skip his birthday again, because, Birthdays are big deals. Birth Day is a huge deal, for all involved. It makes me frustrated when people talk about aging and not wanting to have the number creep up... the thing is, there is only one way to stop having birthdays, and I, personally, am not ready for that yet. SO let's celebrate them instead shall we?

All of this... an immanent new baby, a fledging new community, the birthday of the man I love... all about birth, beginnings, coming alive, it has a push and momentum that is building and about to crack wide open. I can see it coming.

Celebration

Anodea Judith says: "Let what you love occupy the center of your life. Make the fulfillment of your longing your highest priority. When your longing is answered, you will have cause to celebrate.

The heart is nourished by celebration and play, pleasure and beauty, creativity and laughter. These are the seeds of love. They are the ground from which it grows, and they are present in every new relationship. ... Joy is a sign that the heart is open. Contentment is a result. Foster the age of the heart with glorious celebration, creative collaboration, and passionate production of continuous delight."

We do not celebrate enough. We do not engage in the passionate production of continuous delight in our society. I do not do it enough in my very house. But to celebrate is to mark occasion. It is to honor and validate shifts and growths, beginnings and endings, accomplishment and passages. And it need not be accompanied by fanfare, sugar, or confetti. Just a simple recognition, smile, and pat on the back may be enough.

On a dreary Monday such as this it is difficult to find cause to celebrate. January is certainly not my favorite time of year. So I say, go out and LOOK for it. Maybe we can smile inwardly to ourselves today and offer that loving Mother energy in celebration of the beauty inherent in our own lives. It is a gift that you are alive at this moment. Breathe in, Breathe out... Celebrate.

Friday Quote

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth"

-- Muhammad Ali

(with gratitude to Dana, the girls, and PYR)