Dancing Yogini

Unraveling

2012-02-12T16:44:00.003-05:00

tearing out stitch by stitch

I have been working on a blanket for my daughter's bed since summer. The thing is huge: wider than my wingspan - so, it is wider than it needs to be to fit across her bed as planned. It's really pretty, a soft white wool yarn with yellow stripes. All crocheted together in a granny stitch.

I can't tell you how many hours I've spent on that blanket since I started it in July. I just pick it up and work on it from time to time when Babe wants me to sit with her watching kiddie TV, or when I have a few minutes before I have to walk in to pick her up from school. HOURS have gone into this blanket. More than a few.

It became pretty clear to me a while ago that it wasn't going to work out. The thing is just too too huge. It's too wide to make sense. And since my original plan was for it to become a blanket for her bed, I started looking at it and seeing that OMG it was going to take literally millions of hours of work and tons of yarn. This was going to be the most expensive blanket a child would ever own.

This week I started ripping it out. I've been pulling the yarn back through every stitch I made, strand by strand. Somehow, this just seemed like the week to pull something apart.

So, you may know, Anusara is under real strain as is John Friend. I don't know how it's going to come out and quick solution is not forthcoming. And now, lots and lots of teachers are jumping ship. I spent about 30 minutes today believing my teacher Todd was among them which was my biggest test of faith yet. He still could go. Plenty more still could and probably will. (and I recognize my issues surrounding having deep trust and faith in my own teacher in the midst of controversy about teacher/student ethics)

I am wickedly learning a lot in this swift cut of Grace. What is giving me faith is the interim committee. Not just the fact that Anusara has one, but I'm looking at it and seeing who is on it. Who is it? The absolute Elders of this system -- both in time in Anusara, and in calendar years. And it is the elders who have, thus far, stayed on the committee. I know Todd and Ann have been through this before -- they were a part of Kripalu when the shit went down there.

I just had this conversation the other day with a friend about the lack of elders in our society right now. It's why I have a life coach and have been in therapy before. Our society is just not set up with elders. So right now I'm keeping hope and faith in the elders I trust and believe in -- and that John is hopefully starting to listen to.

Time will show us. I'm also following Todd's advice to "do your sadana every day." And right now I'm waiting to see as I'm tearing the blanket apart stitch from stitch. Trying to stay in reflection rather than reaction.

When I get back to the first row I'll start it up again in a smaller more manageable size. Babe will still get a blanket, just not what she expected. A new baby came into my world (via a friend thank goodness!) this week so instead of one huge blanket I now envision two. Not what I thought was going to happen, but beautiful nonetheless. Sometimes, taking something apart is the best way to make it into what it's meant to be.

What is....

2012-02-08T09:19:00.002-05:00

Here is what I know....

Get on your mat and you feel better.

Be in community and you feel better.

Sit down and get quiet and you feel better. And if it's outside you doubly feel better.

Even in the midst of upheaval and the world turning upside down, Life feels better when the heart is anchored.

Did you ever watch the documentary Ashtanga, NY. It's about Pattabhi Jois's visit to NYC which happened to coincide with the attack on the World Trade Center. He was there. And you know what he did? He just kept on practicing, kept on teaching and practicing. And more students than ever came to their mats to be with him. Because, in times of chaos the practice remains. In times of beauty, happiness, ultimate BLISS the practice is there. In times of ugliness, questioning, challenge - the practice is there. In times of beauty happiness and bliss the community exists outside and within... and so in challenge too the community exists outside and within.

A friend recently said something to the same effect... that it's easy to get spun up in all that is of the world, especially when I'm spending more time on the internet than on my mat.... but coming to class reminds her, reminds me, reminds all of us. This is OK. I, personally, am OK. And look, here is a community of beautifully imperfect people all striving just like me to make sense of a world that is changing faster than ever.

So, in times of challenge this is what I think: Hug your kula. Hug yourself. Hug your Heart, go deep and BREATHE.

Put a Smile on your Face

2012-02-06T14:14:00.003-05:00

I watched the documentary Enlighten Up! the other day. It has been out for a while now and is available on Netflix instant. The super brief synopsis is that the filmmaker, Kate, loves yoga and decides to recruit a total newbie Nick (who happens to be a journalist) to take on yoga for 6 months. She hopes to prove that "yoga can transform anyone." He agrees to "regular" practice and she carts him around to great teachers in NYC, in the countryside outside NYC, to Hawaii, and ultimately to India to study and interview with both Pattabhi Jois and BKS Iyengar. He also goes with another man he's met on his journey, to an ashram where he meets an enlightened swami. (Just writing this makes me wonder, how come we don't have tons of enlightened swamis just sitting around America ready to meet us and explain the intricacies of life. That would be pretty rad, No?) Ok. So that's the nutshell. You can watch it if you want to find out what happens. This is not an opinion piece on the film.

Instead I offer you the insight I got from watching. Whenever Nick was with a yogi/yogini who'd studied for a long while, someone who was a master teacher on the path I noticed something about that person. No matter how fierce that person was as a teacher or a speaker during the interview, they were also quick to Laugh, and to laugh fully. They were so darn Happy.

A few months ago my boss asked for a statement from each teacher about why we do yoga. I have to admit, I didn't email her back. It was because I couldn't boil it down to the two sentences she was asking for. But now I'm realizing.

I do yoga to be happy.

The end.

Just to be stinking happy. Over time my definition of what happiness is, and then what makes me happy has changed. I remember when I was in World Religion 101 the professor said that upon reaching deeper states of enlightenment, one would drop the earlier stages. His explanation was that when we were younger we played with Barbie dolls, and now that we're more mature, we don't have any interest in those anymore. That's how the idea of happiness evolves for me.

At first, going to yoga class and sweating and moving my body made me feel happy. Then doing a handstand on my own (wall assisted mind you) for the first time made me happy. Then being in community. Then being with amazing teachers that touch my soul. Then deep deep learning. Until one day I met my own Heart pulsing with love and now, probably nothing could make me happier in my sadana. It's to the point that I've logged enough time in the eternal space of beauty inside that even when I'm down... I'm still happy. Now the asana, pranayama, meditation time are there to deepen the happiness, and to clear away the dust that accumulates through my day. It didn't happen overnight, but through yoga I got happy, and am getting happier in a real true sense of the word.

I hope to soon become much quicker to laugh too. That part of me has yet to blossom into fullness. I'm reserved in my inner happiness. But all is coming. "Practice, practice, practice, practice. That is the method" so says Pattabhi Jois in the film. Happiness. What a sweet practice to have.

7 for Spring!

2012-01-31T15:26:00.005-05:00

I counted it out... there are seven more Mondays until the Equinox when Spring officially begins. In my opinion, it can't come fast enough. I know this winter has been extremely mild (it's almost 70 degrees here today), but February always seems to drag me down.

To keep our spirits up and our practice up during the doldrums of the year, I'm putting out a little challenge:

Seven for Spring

Pick your Seven top feel-good poses. These should be poses that never fail to make you feel good. Poses that inspire or challenge you. That put you in an awesome mood. I also suggest that they be active (not restorative) so that you're also activating your energy when you practice. Maybe choose something you don't always practice but you find fun!
Make a randomly numbered list of them.
Add your numbered list to the comments of this post... or email it to me, and include if you're going to blog along about it. And keep a copy of the list for yourself.

Each Monday from now until Spring I will choose a random number 1-7 and post it here and on facebook. That is your party pose for the week. Your job is to put that pose into every practice you do that week. You can post how it's going in responses to posts here or you can post them on my facebook page.... even email or facebook a photo of the pose.

At the end of the seven weeks you won't win a prize or anything. BUT spring will be here, your practice will have kept up during the month of February (not a small feat for me). And, you may just inspire and be inspired by the others who practice along.

Sound good?

We'll officially start on Monday February 6th, but you can join in at any time. I'll keep a running list of poses on the side of this page. Just practice right along! Enjoy!

Friday Quote

2012-01-27T08:47:00.002-05:00

It is so easy to close down to risk, to protect ourselves

against change and growth. But no baby bird emerges

without first destroying the perfect egg sheltering it.

We must risk being raw and fresh and awkward.

For without such openness, life will not penetrate

us anew. Unless we are open we will not be filled.

- Patricia Monaghan

The Pie that (almost) ruined my day

2012-01-26T17:26:00.002-05:00

I am, well, WAS a cranky lady today. It happens to the best of us. Ugh. It's really all my own doing and is a reminder to Pay Attention or live with the Consequences. Why, hello Karma, nice to see you again.

Let's rewind, shall we. Remember on Monday it was my husband's birthday? Well, his favorite birthday treat is Key Lime Pie. It is awesome and he completely finished his by Tuesday night. So yesterday I made another one (seeing as how Babe and I'd barely gotten a taste of the first one). Yesterday was uneventful and he worked late not getting home until around 10:15. Around 10:20 that darn pie started calling to us in it's sweet yet tart yet tangy yet cool yet creamy voice saying we just had to taste a tiny bite. Really the oreo crust shouldn't be left alone there in the fridge unaccompanied, right? So we did. I had the smallest of pieces. But it was at 10:20 pm (when I'm usually lights out at 10, mind you)

That was IT. I stayed up late reading. Then I tossed and turned all night unable to get to sleep and stay asleep with the strange dreams...

That pie set me up for the crankiest day.. no early morning practice as I like to do on Thursdays before teaching, a weird disconnectedness in my teaching, (a lovely visit with a friend) and then shortness with my daughter as she came out from school.

Things were not looking good. Thank goodness, I woke up and decided I didn't want to go down with the ship. I looked at my daughter who was singing a crazy song not to annoy the bajesus out of me but because she was just so darn happy. And I decided to borrow from her.

For the first few minutes, switching from crankmeister to happy-go-lightly was really challenging. But then I settled in. Blowing bubbles for her reminded me to enjoy taking deep breaths. Being the soundtrack for her dance party reminded me to stop and sing once in a while. And demanding that I practice asana good and hard during her nap, then eat a healthful snack were the final switches to flip. I'm not totally better. I could use a little more sleep. A little more quiet time with no agenda today. But at least I'm not about to take anybody's head off anymore.

It reminds me of what Todd said at the workshop in the fall: "Let your afterwards be your teacher." Of course, I've learned the Don't eat chocolate after 8pm, and Don't stay up too late before you have to work in the morning lessons quite a few times. And I'll probably learn them again, but at least now I'm paying attention to it. And at least now I'm starting to learn that I can save a sinking ship. It doesn't all have to fall apart, instead I can fight for every single moment until a switch is made. I'm learning how much is in my control. Inevitably, I do switch back to bliss-ish, that's my ground of being, you know.

So. that's my day, take what you will.

Painted in Celebration

2012-01-23T14:28:00.003-05:00

green food coloring from pie-making and a henna tattoo honoring a friend

It is Monday and I am filled up. I am green and brown and smiling. It is gray and foggy and cold outside and I am warm and juicy and inspired inside. I am full. This is a magical feeling.

This weekend was all about Service and Celebration and I am marveling at how energized and enlivened I feel coming out of it. On Saturday I hosted a Blessingway/Mother Blessing for a friend who is expecting her first child. It was a powerful circle of women which reminded me just how important it is to have deep real friends, and how important the task of Mothering really is.

And that whether you have children or not you may quite deeply engage in Mothering. Because the very first person you can Mother is yourself. What a gift you could give the world to truly nurture, love, and embrace yourself in the way that your own mother could not even know how to do. And from there we are each invited to be Mother to each other. Mother in the most accepting loving and supportive way possible. And even men can Mother I think. Wouldn't that be an amazing world, if men were Mothering others the way the tender-hearted ones Mother their own children. I think it's possible.

From the Blessingway to the Kula Jam where the studio was packed with new eager faces who delighted in exploration and community. As the "leader" of sorts of Saturday's Kula Jam I was invited into service of all the beautiful souls. In times past a schedule like that: the Blessing then the Jam: would've felt too much, too exhausting, too stressful... Saturday it felt like a gift. A magical moment to help people have fun explore and feel connected. Saturday was community day... even on into the night when we gathered with our newly forming supper club.

Sunday teaching and practicing and time with friends and the gift of rest to my body.

And today is Monday. And I am full. And it is my Husband's 39th birthday.

Again, a cause for celebration and service. A few years ago I wasn't home on his birthday. I went to a yoga workshop with my teacher. I forgot to wish him happy birthday as he stayed home and watched our one-year-old. I will never skip his birthday again, because, Birthdays are big deals. Birth Day is a huge deal, for all involved. It makes me frustrated when people talk about aging and not wanting to have the number creep up... the thing is, there is only one way to stop having birthdays, and I, personally, am not ready for that yet. SO let's celebrate them instead shall we?

All of this... an immanent new baby, a fledging new community, the birthday of the man I love... all about birth, beginnings, coming alive, it has a push and momentum that is building and about to crack wide open. I can see it coming.

Celebration

Anodea Judith says: "Let what you love occupy the center of your life. Make the fulfillment of your longing your highest priority. When your longing is answered, you will have cause to celebrate.

The heart is nourished by celebration and play, pleasure and beauty, creativity and laughter. These are the seeds of love. They are the ground from which it grows, and they are present in every new relationship. ... Joy is a sign that the heart is open. Contentment is a result. Foster the age of the heart with glorious celebration, creative collaboration, and passionate production of continuous delight."

We do not celebrate enough. We do not engage in the passionate production of continuous delight in our society. I do not do it enough in my very house. But to celebrate is to mark occasion. It is to honor and validate shifts and growths, beginnings and endings, accomplishment and passages. And it need not be accompanied by fanfare, sugar, or confetti. Just a simple recognition, smile, and pat on the back may be enough.

On a dreary Monday such as this it is difficult to find cause to celebrate. January is certainly not my favorite time of year. So I say, go out and LOOK for it. Maybe we can smile inwardly to ourselves today and offer that loving Mother energy in celebration of the beauty inherent in our own lives. It is a gift that you are alive at this moment. Breathe in, Breathe out... Celebrate.

Friday Quote

2012-01-20T16:06:00.004-05:00

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth"

-- Muhammad Ali

(with gratitude to Dana, the girls, and PYR)

Arm's Length

2012-01-19T15:56:00.002-05:00

A girlfriend of mine deeply feels that the reason she struggles in parsvakonasana and in arm balances is that her arms are just too short. She has trouble touching the floor. Too short may be an overstatement. Her arms are her arms and they are completely perfect for her lovely body. She has a long torso too which may make it more difficult to reach the floor sometimes. I got her to drop her hip and scoop her tailbone in parsvaK the other day and "suddenly" the arm length wasn't a problem.

I'm always amazed at how simple shifts can have a profound influence. Usually I know what is needed, but convincing myself to make the shift is the hard part.

Thresholding again. I'm doing some of that work that needs to be done but is wickedly uncomfortable. I think this year is about becoming a real adult. Maturing. Because, that's really who I want to be. I'm tired of blaming others, of judging others, of holding out, and particularly of fear.

I'm learning a lot about my arm's length right now. Have you seen my arm's length? Chances are, if you've met me you've been at arm's length. No matter how close you want to get to me and how deeply inside you think you actually are... fear kicks in and my arm will grow in an instant to move you back 20 years. Perhaps the only ones who really get in are my husband, child, and best girlfriends... but all are only visitors in the embrace before the push away begins again.

It's a knee-jerk reaction. Feels uncontrollable. But, I'm told, it's not.

And so this is a cycle to look at opening the boundaries (yikes!), which means dealing with things that are less than pleasant in an honest and mature way. This is also a cycle for maturing, discipline and not so much mental complaining.

And a cycle of service. Somehow those things keep coming to me. Maturity, Discipline, Service. All wrapped into speaking. Voice. WORDS = Power, Vibrancy, Vulnerability.

Well, I'm paralyzed/terrified. And I'm not going to let that stop me. Because I feel this incredible surge too. The cloud of terror is blocking a blinding sun of manifestation.

So it is also a cycle for playing and expanding. For many attempts and failures, and re-attempts, and re-learning. And for clocking time in the fire. For, to transform will require a lot of heat.

I have long arms that shoot out at a moment's notice. Time for handstanding without the wall. Forearm stand with no support. Turning the world upside down for long times. And letting it all exist as it is, not fixing. Time to twist and sweat and feel uncomfortably weird in a pose and in a moment and just let it be that way for the greater good of becoming a mature adult person on this planet.

Anyhoo. I'm back from vacay to some hard real work to do. Personal evolution.

While I'd like to do it all from this chair and in my mind, that just isn't how it works. Anodea Judith says "Relationship is the crucible through which evolution occurs." So, I'm stepping in. Trying to drop my hip, tuck my tail, grow up, and use my arms as I intend them... in the biggest, love-filled, most all embracing hug possible.

The Unexpected

2012-01-11T17:39:00.002-05:00

Ha! Life happens in unexpected ways, right?

This week we booked a vacation on a whim. So instead of dropping back into my life, teaching, and practice we're off for a few days of rest and play as a family.

Kind of like Grace, you never know when she'll come but it's always interesting to see what will happen.

So I'll leave you until next week with this image of the LOTUS I spoke about in a previous post. Nothing and then a beautiful surprise. Enjoy! And I'll be back in this space next week.

No pedestal, Thanks so much!

2012-01-11T17:09:00.002-05:00

Remember this post?

Well, I taught with the story from the post for inspiration for a class on Friendliness on Sunday morning. It was a lovely class and theme for a beginning of the year practice with quite a few new friends joining our normally quite tight group.

After class some of my longtime lovely students commented to me that they couldn't believe that I'd thought and behaved that way. They couldn't believe it was me. Well, flatter me not, if refusing to move my mat over was the worst I'd ever done I might be a pretty amazing person, but believe me I am certainly no saint. I have thought, said, and done much worse in my life.

Their comments got me thinking about two things:

First, it reminds me how much we put our teachers on pedestals. I mean, I absolutely know I have Todd and Ann so high up I could never ever reach them. But they handle themselves so graciously and with so much humility it's hard not to believe they are absolute saints in living an honest and engaged life. It makes me a uncomfortable to believe that others could be holding me up in their minds the way that I hold up my own teachers.

I've been reading Christina Sell's My Body is a Temple recently. In the chapter on guru and spiritual authority she quotes philosophy teacher Carlos Pomeda giving some good questions to ask in choosing a teacher. Here's what he has to say:

"What's the person's pedigree? Who was/were their teachers? How long have they trained? How much have they practiced and how deeply? Most importantly, what is their level of inner experience? Have they dived into the depths of their own being? What have they learned? How much have they studied? How much experience do they have in guiding others? Finally, how do they live? Do their lives reflect their beliefs and teachings, or do they say one thing and do something completely different? Are they happy and fulfilled individuals?"

Whew! Well, that's largely how I choose a teacher. And, it's a lot to live up to if I want to truly truly be the kind of teacher I aspire to be.

And so, of course, I'm weeding out the habits that exist from the time when I was less invested on this path of yoga, habits from before I even knew the path. And am doing it as best I can, but to be honest I hope my students reserve the pedestal and know I am most certainly as human as they come. Struggles and all. I'm just doing my best to engage with the path, not to run away from it. And now especially I am making the shift into making my life off the mat match to the life I strive for on the mat.

Secondly, the comments my students made about me point to how effective this specific path of Anusara yoga actually is. The point of Anusara yoga is to teach people how to engage in their lives effectively in a real true way. The reasons to practice Anusara yoga are to remember our Divine Nature and to take delight in and celebrate that remembrance. In my opinion, Anusara yoga is designed to get you into your heart and keep you there as much as possible.

The path into teaching Anusara yoga includes Immersion and Teacher Training and takes a minimum of about 2 years to get to just the entry level of Inspired teaching. The immersion and teacher training set up of at least 200-hours of in depth study of Anusara, and the in depth practice in Anusara plus the years of practice in regular classes actually work. This yoga works. It is scientifically designed to shift not only the body, but the whole being on every level. The result is continuous transformation. At least, that has absolutely been my experience and the experience of those I've been alongside on the path. Honestly, the yoga works. It doesn't work as fast as instant internet, but it does work. I am absolutely a different person on the inside (and it's starting to show on the outside) than I was when I first started Anusara or yoga at all.

So, I'm glad I'm in it. I'm glad to be on this path and am excited to see what the next steps will be for me, for this sweet kula in Richmond, and for the broader Anusara community. To any students who think I'm more than they could possibly be I say: Keep the pedestal and instead walk this path beside me in humility, humor, and love. Let's keep getting into our hearts together!

The LOTUS in the Heart (of Virginia)

2012-01-09T20:22:00.003-05:00

Unless you live here in VA you might not know it, but there exists, quite literally, a two story pink and sky blue lotus in the heart of Buckingham County, VA. It is the LOTUS of Sachidananda Ashram, fondly called, Yogaville. (LOTUS stands for Light of Truth Universal Shrine).

It is, totally and completely unexpected.

I drove out to Yogaville for my first visit on Friday. Driving there took me on a country highway through the piedmont for nearly two hours. Along the way I passed my country cousins out in full camo and blaze orange hats. I gathered that it was the last weekend of deer hunting season. And every extra tall pick-up truck I passed was covered in that red orange mud that let me know they'd been out in the fields working or on the look out for game.

I say "my cousins" because though these weren't my literal cousins, my country kinfolk were most certainly doing the same over the weekend. (that's what it said on facebook at least). I could get all upset at passing the hunting on the way to an ashram dedicated to peace and happiness for all. But I know from the ones I call family that many of these people are truly of the God-fearing, life-loving, family centered, hard-working salt-of-the-Earth type. I don't choose to hunt animals for sport and they do, but that doesn't mean I have to hate them. They love their kids and God, and they allow 900 acres of what is probably pretty good farmland to be used as a hippie ashram. Everyone seems to get along.

That's sort of what I mean by the LOTUS being completely unexpected. It sits in the middle of farmland right in the center of VA. To get to LOTUS from the quad of the ashram grounds you hike down a hill or drive down a long winding country road and suddenly round a corner you get a glimpse. Wham. There it is! Nothing at all subtle about it! A huge lotus sitting in a field.

I honestly don't know much about Swami Sachidananda and Integral Yoga. I do know that his translation of the yoga sutras is on the Anusara reading list. And I went to Yogaville not so much as an in depth study in Integral Yoga or an immersion into the nuances of ashram living (the 5:30 am wake-up by violin playing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was lovely) but as a moment to take a breath and pause.

Yogaville being situated just as it is in Buckingham County offered just the right space from the noise of traffic on the street. The simple room offered respite from TV and internet. More quiet space for thinking and resting. The delicious vegetarian food prepared in the kitchen was just what was needed after continuing indulgences with the holiday season. And the reminders to stop and meditate, stop and practice asana, stop and practice pranayama were like a call back into my own Heart and sadana.

Just being in the LOTUS was an invitation to experience the peacefulness that I felt I lost with the end of one year and beginning of the next. So while I did not find a new yoga home as some do, my overnight at Yogaville did just what I needed. It put a period and two spaces at the end of the sentence that was the holidays.

Next paragraph. Next year. Now I can finally begin. Maybe this taking of time, this allowing for a reset will be just the reminder my heart needs to Open to the unexpected!

Not so Awesome and a look at the Newbies

2012-01-04T20:45:00.004-05:00

One of my least proud yoga moments of all time. Are you ready for it?

Several years ago, when I was in my first teacher training but before I was a teacher, I went to class at my studio. Class was in the smallest studio of the 3 and I spread my mat, like the pro that I was, in just about the center of the room. A few other students were already there so I pretty much monopolized the entire space that was left over. I was early, as I often was, so I sat down and did whatever thinking or breathing I did while waiting for the teacher to come.

A few minutes passed and another woman came into the room. I sat on my mat and somewhat looked away. She stepped tentatively a little closer to me. I did my thing where I pretend not to see someone.... though in that studio it is impossible not to see someone enter. I thought to myself: "I'm not gonna move over, unless she asks me to. She can go to the other row." She stood there and waited.

She sighed a deep, disheartened sigh. (I can hear it now, the heaviness, the uninvitedness, the frustration)

It sent a shock wave through me.

She looked at me and said: "Could you....."

Total shame, embarrassment, and disappointment in myself.

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God. Of COURSE I could move my mat over!! What had I been thinking?

I nodded. "Mmm Hmmm." I played it off like I'd not been paying attention. Maybe I really was aloof.

I wasn't. I was just plain being mean. Being mean just to be mean and maybe even to pump up my ego in my status as a teacher trainee. It was so not cool.

Since that moment I've been much more keenly aware about making sure to make space for others and try to hold it when I'm in classes anywhere. That meanness didn't help anybody that day, but at least it woke me up.

-----

This time of year a lot of us try to make a leap into something new and different. Something a friend or loved one swears by. We try to go to the gym or to take a new yoga class. It's intimidating, but we want to feel better. It's scary, we don't know anybody and just to try something new with this old body feels like an insurmountable obstacle. Touching our toes, forget it!

This time of year on the other side, new people bust their way into our yoga classes and take our "spots". They fill up our gym machines and hog our favorite teachers' attention. It's annoying, but those of us who are the experts, who've been here a while, we've seen a few new year's folks come and go. We're betting the Resolutions will be gone by February and class will get back to normal. Until then it's comical to watch them try, and it's nice to have someone to compare ourselves against.

You know, I just wonder if we aren't part of the reason that some of the Resolutioners don't stick around.

Ever heard how mean people are at the gym... how stuffy and uninviting people were in the new yoga class your friend tried? {'really?' you say. 'they're always so nice there!} I mean, I don't want to stick around somewhere where I don't feel welcomed and encouraged. Where people give me mean looks, don't move over for me, and I can feel myself being judged.

I don't know. I think this time of year is a good time to watch ourselves in the midst of the influx into our yoga classes. To watch and see how the buttons are pushed and to take note if the yoga is actually working. I mean, can I actually move my mat over before I'm asked next time, shake hands with the new girl walking into the space, and keep my mind on my own practice without a giggle at the expense of another (even an internal giggle)? How hard could all of that be? Probably harder than I think. But worth a shot.

The best part is, by making space (physically and emotionally) in the class for the newest members I might just be making space for my new best friend. I might just be giving that person the inroads to an amazing transformation that would have been missed if I were the same mean girl I was a few years ago. Or, she might still never come back. And my practice will go on either way, but at least I made a dent in my own mean habits.

Planting New Seeds

2012-01-03T14:47:00.002-05:00

the paperwhite in our kitchen window

Here's how it went down:

I was inspired. I was psyched-up and excited. I got myself on the hook.

[months passed]

I freaked. I got nervous. I filled myself with doubt. I tried to avoid it. I did not publicize.

I stopped. I gave myself the time and space I needed. I went back to inspiration. I visioned. I GOT TO WORK. I prepared. I Opened the heck to Grace.

I went to bed early.

I chanted. I warmed-up. I asked Blessings. I saw 25 expectant faces. I got intimidated. I remembered my preparation. I remembered my Highest vision. I Opened to Grace [continuously]

I ROCKED...

I spoke with the voice of knowledge and wisdom that lives in my heart. I inspired. I guided. I shifted people. I awoke to a new day. I was filled with gratitude.

I stepped up a notch.

I reset my own bar.

I am proud.

A New Year Inspiration

2012-01-01T15:21:00.004-05:00

My Grandmother, Gigi, receiving her college diploma

My Grandmother, Gigi didn't go to college. Well, for most of her life she hadn't gone to college, that is until 1995. When I was enrolling in my last year of high school, Gigi, enrolled in her freshman year of college at James Madison University. She was 76 and lived about 30 minutes away in the tiny railroad town of Shenandoah, VA.

For the next nine years Gigi navigated dark country roads, paid bills for tuition and books, studied for and passed tests and final exams, learned to use the word processing component of the computer so she could write papers, took a math class, and cared for my ailing grandfather. Even after Joe passed Gigi didn't give up on her education. To complete her degree in Theater Arts she had to write, stage and present an hour+ long monologue, fully memorized, in costume, to a live audience. She did it with grace and her never ending charm.

In May of 2004 Gigi walked across the stage and received her diploma from JMU. The audience gave a standing ovation. (I, personally, burst into tears!) She turned 85 that summer.

(At 92 she still lives independently with loving support from my parents and is as dramatic as ever!!)

On this New Year's Day just remember: It's never too late to follow your heart and go for your dreams. It doesn't matter how long it takes for them to come true for you. As long as you are following your heart nothing can touch you. Certainly, obstacles with present themselves, after all, how will you know you are truly going fully into your life if you aren't challenged? Let nothing stop you. Chase your dreams and they will run toward you! Ask for Grace and she will support you. And know that you are fully loved and supported in all you endeavor to create out of your one life.

I am so thrilled to see what this new year will bring. With love and blessings! Happy 2012 -- Sarah

Ending it Up

2011-12-18T14:17:00.003-05:00

For students......

For teachers....

The end of the year. The holiday season. In keeping with my simplicity intention I bid you adieu until 2012. May your season be bright and your heart be filled with love. May your home be blessed with abundance and joy. I'll be back in this space in January. Love and Light! Sarah

PS.. scroll down to the next post to read about my New Years Day offering!

For 2012!!!

2011-12-17T20:23:00.003-05:00

Set Your Intention! A Special New Year's Day Practice

Here's what's coming up for the very first day of 2012....

Hope to see you there if you're local!

start your new year with the potent combination of yoga and intention!

this active, mixed-level practice is designed to plant the seed of your resolutions deep in your body, mind and heart. we will explore the power of sankulpa, intention, in a wide range of asana designed to open and strengthen your body on all levels. soulful instruction combined with deeply playful asana will leave you feeling energized, confident, inspired, and restored. start the year with yoga and get ready for a powerfully transformative 2012!

”go confidently in the direction of your dreams. live the life you have imangined.” - thoreau

At Yoga Source $25 Register in Advance if possible!

Why

2011-12-14T07:19:00.002-05:00

My daughter is now 3 years old. It is a beautifully sweet time and we are totally enjoying each other. She is most definitely awake to the world and it is brilliant! With the awakening comes the desire to know know know about everything around her. Her appetite for knowledge and understanding is astounding.

And so we are crossing over into WHY world. Why is the stump black? Why is the sky moving? Why do we see the moon in the daytime sometimes? Why do we not see the stars in the daytime? Why? Why? Why? It is relentless and at times trying. At other times, precious and sweet and quite quite funny.

I am reminded of the teaching technique of giving what Todd calls Benefit Statements. This being with her reminds me that I have to tell my students WHY we are doing things. That I have to be the saleswoman for Tops of the Thighs Back and for Open to Grace.

Amy Ippoliti calls doing this the Why Mantra. She says I can instruct any action, like spread your pinky toe -- and then tell why to do it so many times that the students feel like they're going to save the world with their pinky toes.

I've been reintroducing the Why Mantra and Benefit Statements with great success. And so I'm thinking I must remind myself to treat the students in some ways like the most curious of 3 year olds. When I feed them with the Why of the practice they are excited, inspired, and they move deeper. The practice moves from gymnastics into yoga. Beautiful!

Blow Wind Blow!

2011-12-13T14:12:00.002-05:00

Back a month or so ago when all those teachers were leaving Anusara - there were questions from students to their own teachers: Are you leaving too? One certified teacher I follow on Facebook had the greatest status in response:

"I shall stay until the wind changes" - Mary Poppins

The wind is blowing from a new direction now in my life. It's been breezy for a while and I realized I've been like the crumpled last leaf, clinging to the branch of the already wintering tree - afraid to finally drop away and let what was become compost for what will be. It's not fear. It's denial and deep sadness.

I've been here before. I recognize the drama I'm playing, only last time the roles were reversed. The situation was handled with all of the honesty it needed but none of the compassion - at 17, I didn't know much about compassion. Karma's a Kali-ish witch coming 'round at the least opportune times. But when the wind blows in gusts like this - best to follow and drift into the new. Decay into compost for a while but yes, then grow into the new.

What I know is: Openings can't be forced. Hamstrings. Hips. Hearts. They do not open under pressure. I'm still rehabing injuries from learning the hard way on that one. What makes opening? Alignment, Alignment, Alignment to the very Highest - then patient acceptance.

And so I'm feeling the sweeping gusts and trying not to hold too tightly. Not to be angry to become compost. Not to mourn the end of the growing season. Stay or go, I'm not quite sure yet - certainly the wind could change back. But in reality, it may never blow the same direction again. So align and wait -- grateful for the other trees in my garden.

Friday Quote

2011-12-09T14:50:00.000-05:00

"Dreams and Dedication are a powerful combination"

William Longgood

3 As for the Holidays : Attitude

2011-12-07T09:31:00.003-05:00

All this month I'm using the 3 As from Anusara as inspiration for my classes. This is actually coming out of using them as my framework for approaching the holiday season. It is really helping.

The 3 As in Anusara are the foundational framework on which the entire system rests. They are the starting point for the approach to the asana. And I'm finding them a great entry point for approaching more than asana, for approaching life -- particularly this holiday season.

The As are: Attitude, Alignment, and Action.

For this first week I've been teaching and thinking about Attitude. Attitude as the first A is the foundation of the foundation. EVERYTHING hangs on Attitude. "Our attitude distinguishes us and transforms us" so John Friend says. It is how we bring our hearts into our lives and poses. Attitude is where our intentions come from and ultimately what fulfills them. So in the last post, when I spoke of my intention for a holiday season with focus on what is simple, natural, and beautiful -- that arose out of the mental attitude that does not accept stress, that is open and that is awake to the deep love of this time of year and every time of year.

Thinking about for the holidays has been helpful as I approach holiday parties. Simple, natural, beautiful as my intention is in my home, and certainly as I get ready to go.... but once I get to the parties, who knows? Parties are a mix-up for me because I LOVE people and being able to visit with them, but group social situations are decidedly not my strong suit. (yet!)

Because I'm not in love with group social events I could easily go into the party with an expectation and the attitude "this is going to suck". I've done that more than I'd like to admit. Instead, this weekend as I went to two parties, I tried to soften expectations and have the inner stance, the Attitude of Openness to however it would unfold. That inner heart space that allowed for any outcome from each party was essential to my enjoyment. I was lucky to have the openness in mind because at the second party I spent most of my time in the basement with my daughter doing crafts, not upstairs visiting with the adults I'd hoped to see. It could've been a crummy, lonely time... but the Attitude of openness allowed me to recognize the beauty and simplicity of the sweet time with my girl. I'm grateful for that time, even if it wasn't what I might have expected at a holiday party.

So this month I'm going to continue to explore Attitude and the other two As as I move deeper into the darkness of December and the brightness of the Holidays. Feel free to join me!

Holiday Shift

2011-12-05T07:14:00.003-05:00

And now, I welcome you, officially into The (dreaded?) Holiday Season! Yes, my friends, December is upon us... with all of its over-shopping, over-doing, over eating, over partying, over stressing, and over working. I, personally, am over IT.

December is so funny. It is a month where in the natural world every growing thing puts down the work and goes to sleep. Where the days get as short as they'll get and the creatures quiet down (when is the last time you heard a cicada?). The light is gone, and the world goes inside. I find exceptional beauty this time of year.... And yet, in the unnatural world, in our world, we completely speed up. We do more shopping, travelling, partying and generally try cram way more activities into this little month than into any other. And then we wonder why we're stressed out and rundown and getting sick.

I hadn't thought of December with awareness of the contradiction between the natural world and our behavior before this year. But it's helping me take a deep breath in my approach to the holidays. It's helping me step back this year and wonder: What do I really want out of this time of year? One thing I can tell you I don't want is to Shop (I hate to shop).

This year I'm trying something new. An idea, based on December itself. What if my Holiday intention could be: Simple Natural Beauty. That everything I do, create, and make happen could in some way be Simple Natural and Beautiful? It makes letting go of huge projects in favor of doing what I want- sitting by the tree drinking tea- sound much easier.

Setting an intention for a time of year or an event or even a moment is new and different for me. My intentions are usually reserved for the mat. But I'm finding that having an intention carries me into everything I do this time of year with a deep awareness and mindfulness. It gives me something to check against as I'm making decisions and it's keeping me grounded and focused.

So this month as I'll be striving for simplicity, for bringing awareness to nature, and for finding and creating tons of Beauty, I'll also try to report back on how it goes. Just thinking this way, I feel peaceful, more at home and relaxed. And that's all I really want this time of year.

Contemplation: What has your holiday season been like in the past? and What would you like your intention to be this year?

Simple Gifts - Friday Quote

2011-12-02T15:15:00.002-05:00

Simple Gifts

'tis the gift to be simple, tis the gift to be free

'tis the gift to come down where we ought to be

And when we find ourselves in the place just right

'twill be in the valley of love and delight

When true simplicity is gain'd

to bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd

To turn, turn will be our delight

'till by turning, turning we come 'round right

-- Elder Joseph Brackett (1797 - 1882)

of the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine

Gratitude and Giving Back

2011-11-29T16:02:00.003-05:00

With friends/students at the John Friend

workshop in College Park, MD

Well, I think the holiday season is officially here. I, personally, am definitely in the holiday spirit. My brain is whirling with gift giving ideas and I'm paying close attention to managing stress and making sure I prioritize the activities and people with whom I truly want to share my holiday.

With the shift from Thanksgiving into December we see the coming off the one time of year when most everyone turns to giving gifts in some way. I workshopped with John on the Sunday before Thanksgiving -- so naturally his themes revolved around Gratitude. But he also gave some focus to this idea of giving gifts. His thought was that the desire to give back arises from feeling deep gratitude towards a person or group.

Going a step further, he mentioned those people in his life that have truly made an influence: his teachers, his parents, his students - even those who have past on. How do you truly give to a person who has made a profound shift in your life? To the person you hold in the absolute Highest? He said a monetary gift, or material gift just doesn't do justice to them. I mean, how could I possibly give John a gift for bringing Anusara to me and all his students around the world... a pair of socks isn't really going to do it.

Instead he offers the suggestion that we offer ourselves to them. That we live our lives in a way that deeply honors and celebrates all that they have taught us. It is a subtle and deep giving back. He says, stand at the end of your mat and imagine that person is right before you. Practice with him/her in your heart. Dedicate your practice back to them and practice as if they were there to see you. To take it a step further, live your life with that person in mind. He says it is the best way to give back to his teachers to have them see the way he lives and shares with us... and then to see us, inspired by him, then go out and change the world is a huge honor to his own teachers.

I've been exploring this lately with my coaching too as Hildie's been nudging me to pay attention to my life. I've been living more and more in a way that honors the ideals I hold myself to, you know, trying to be the Woman I Want to Be. I started with imagining that John Friend was watching my every move (in a "What would Jesus Do?" sort of way). But I've found that holding my teachers, and my teachers teachers in mind - while powerful and inspiring - doesn't hold a candle to holding the remembrance that my daughter is watching. And so in gratitude to my parents, my teachers, my students I offer my practices and my life with great hopes that I will inspire (and not totally screw up) my daughter to live her life to the fullest.

I find this work a powerful practice in dedication and offering. I'm so grateful to John for bringing it to the forefront of my mind at this time of year. May I focus not so much on the material and consumption. May I instead offer at this holiday season the love, gratitude, joy, and peace that my parents, teachers, friends, and students bring to me each year. May this inspire my daughter and any others who look to me to live life to the fullest, brightest, and most beautiful!

Contemplation: I invite you to share who is most inspiring and instrumental to your life in a comment below. Let's celebrate them at this time of year!

10 Benefits of Going to Class

2011-11-15T14:17:00.003-05:00

Lila Pierce Brown working with a student

I've been thinking lately about the importance of actually GOing to class. As a teacher I'm always wondering what makes people come and what makes people stay away. Mainly, I want to know because I want to do more of what brings folks in the door. Not for any monetary purpose, though that certainly helps, but because I offer practices as a service... the more people who come to class the more people I get to serve. And I definitely still feel that I am learning to serve in many ways so, the more people I get to learn from. It is a give and take.

But, while I may lament small classes or big classes or changes in classes, I've realized that I myself am out of the habit of going to asana class and learning from a real live teacher. Sorely out of the habit. {insert excuses here: no Anusara teacher for 2 hours other than me, and, you know, I've got that kid}. It's a little embarrassing. Not to mention hypocritical to say 'Come to class! Come to class!' and I'm not going with any consistency.

So to spur myself on and move myself back into the public domain with my practice, I came up with a list of 10 benefits I get from Yoga asana class:

Community. I get to know other students and the teacher. Hello, who doesn't want more cool yoga friends?

Beginner's Mind. Someone else tells me what to do and I can practice turning down my brain while practicing being Open and Receptive.

Novelty. Every other teacher will offer information in a different way. Even given the same sequence of poses each teacher will teach it differently. That will spice things up.

Feedback. The teacher will give me alignment feedback that I cannot give myself. How many times do I say: Really? I'm THAT off in that pose? Whoa!

Discipline. It makes me do the poses that I tend to skip, because I'm not going to skip a pose when I'm in class, I'm going to do what the teacher asks. So going to class helps keep my practice balanced.

Supporting the Local Economy (well if I'm in a studio) Most studios are locally owned and pay rent to local companies, they may even be the anchor for a larger shopping center. It feels good to give back

Supporting a local teacher. I have a friend who's class I love. I WILL go and I WILL support her, she's just too awesome not to support.

Shakti. Seriously. Shakti. John Friend videos move me and get my body open and work me on many levels... but they do not compare with the Shakti that can build in a group of people all doing the same thing at the same time.

Encouragement and Inspiration. If I'm practicing next to a strong practitioner I'm inspired to rock a little bit more. Home alone, it's harder for me to turn up the juice. I'm working on doing it at home too, but in class there's a little more power to pull from.

Savasana. It's so much easier to skimp on Savasana at home. I'll do it but I'm already thinking about my computer or my shower or my fridge or the clock. In class, none of those worries are able to be there and I can let the teacher hold the time for me. Let go and enjoy

With that in mind I'm committing to going to a class at least once every 2 weeks from now until the end of the year... and then hopefully moving up to once a week. I know two weeks isn't all that often but life's always a balancing act, right? I'll let you know how it goes.

Contemplation: What do YOU get out of going to class?

From the Inbox

2011-11-14T07:35:00.003-05:00

Be there. Go there now and never leave. Imagine that your dreams have

already come true. Live your life from that mindset. Predicate your

behavior on that reality, not the illusions that now surround you. Filter

every thought, question, and answer from there. Let your focus shift

and be born again - because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want

to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything.

Love, the Universe

(from an email)

Written in the stars

2011-11-10T12:14:00.000-05:00

I found myself recently feeling a little hum-drum, run-of-the-mill, boring, underwhelming and not very special. It was bumming me out. Then a week or so ago I had my astrology chart read for the first time (and I know that may take me into the woo-woo category, but bear with me, it was a lot of fun). For the reading she took my birthdate, time, and location and then looked at the view of the stars for the exact time and location of my birth. Then she proceeded to tell me all about myself with incredible accuracy. She told me things I may have difficulty with and also what comes easy.. then she told me what my own special and unique gifts are, as written in the stars.

It was quite fun!

I realized afterwards that this experience reminded me and affirmed me as a unique Being on the planet. The remembrance of my own uniqueness made me feel so good!

The thing is, this yoga teaches us that we are all unique, we are all individuals with special gifts and ways of being in the world, that we are meant to share. It also makes space for the fact that we are human and we quite literally and often FORGET.

So we do the practice of yoga as a way to remember our own special uniqueness. You are a creation of Life, (the DIVINE), and you are the only YOU there will ever be.

During our practice we literally embrace ourselves and hug in with the quality of Muscular Energy in order to remember and honor all of our individual specialness as creations of the Divine. Self-honoring takes us deep into our hearts - the place where the Life Force pulses. When we connect there, our gifts grow and our inner light is expanded... the feeling from that? well, it’s delightful.

On All Sides, Baby

2011-11-09T15:02:00.002-05:00

We workshopped it here in Richmond this weekend. It was our first Anusara workshop at the studio where I work and so I was quite honored that many students who take my class were able to come out for Lila and Mark. It was quite remarkable, actually.

I am always interested to reflect on my take away from workshops. Sometimes I come away deeply invigorated to change my life, other times I'm infused with Grace, and still others I'm blown away by new or different technical information. This weekend was one of those last ones. She worked us HARD and deep and gave us LOTS to think about.

One of my biggest take-aways from the weekend has to be about Muscular Energy in the legs. I know, how boring, Muscular Energy. I do it in every practice, seriously! But I realized I wasn't exactly engaging in a balanced way.

Muscular Energy, as you may remember, is the current that is so attracted to your internal state that it draws everything back in on itself. One of the components of ME is: hugging the skin to the muscle to the bone in a balanced way. And that was my take away... the hugging in has to happen ON ALL SIDES... EVENLY. It's like I'd completely forgotten that part of the equation. Instead I'd been gripping my quads and under using my hamstrings. That led me to overwork in my front legs while over stretching my hamstring attachments and causing pain. Yikes!

Lila had us isometrically pull our heels back in many many poses to get us to awaken our hamstrings. That was the trick for me. Super simple and easy but a it created a feeling of balanced equal embrace on all sides of my legs, and all the way up to the very attachment of the muscle.

Amusing and amazing that this practice continues in a process of forgetting and remembering and relearning and mastery time and time again. At any rate, I think the backs of my legs and my quads are really going to thank me for this work!

First Leaf

2011-11-03T14:40:00.002-04:00

First Leaf

The first of this year's

leaves lets go and drifts,

no breeze to bear it.

With lazy grace the leaf

unwinds its growing

season in a dancing

downward spiral, lands

in silence, making of

itself a perfect offering

to the alter of the earth

-- Danna Faulds

Burning in the Learning

2011-11-02T14:21:00.003-04:00

And so we cross the threshold. From the Harvest into the darkness. After the play of spirits on Halloween we now move into the close of the cycle. The growing year is finished, the end of the calendar year is swiftly approaching. It is essentially the end.

Our ancestors would know it's time to burn the withered plants in the fields, slaughter the livestock that will not be kept for next year. Time for rituals of purification, like walking between two huge bonfires to awaken the inner spirit while the outer world takes a rest.

We don't literally walk between bonfires anymore (I'm sure the fire marshall would have something to say about that) but how many bonfires did you encounter during this last cycle of growth? What have you been through in 2011, even just since spring?

Now is the time, as we move into the darkness, for looking back. The time for reflection on this most recent past. It's time to harvest the nuggets of wisdom offered. The lessons offered (probably again) by the universe. Now is the time to LEARN from the experiences. And the time to drop the rest.

Remember that shedding away? It's time, burn off what is unnecessary (the storyline) and keep what is most important to your development as a human walking this life (the lesson).

I am thinking of this time of year as a time to sort of brand myself with all that I want to keep next cycle. A time to clear away the debris and wreckage, and to chrystalize my learning into simple nuggets of my version of Truth... then to burn it in. To use my practice as a cauldron of repetition and remembering it again and again like a mantra handed down from the universe so that I'll actually GET it this time.

For me some of the lessons of the year are:

If it is worth having, it is worth working for -- the effort is consistent and never ending
Beauty, Humor, Play, Joy, and Creativity are infinitely important
Intentions and Dreams are powerful especially when linked to your efforts
Radical Acceptance is the only stance to take in life
The universe knows much more than I ever can, Relax, All is coming
I have a Voice and it is POWERFUL

What have been some of your biggest lessons this year? What do you want to remember as you move into the next cycle?

On Hallowe'en

2011-10-31T16:17:00.002-04:00

Costume party a few years ago... ok maybe more than a few.. yikes!

A few years ago we went to a costume party for Halloween. My husband dressed as a mexican wrestler, complete with full mask over his entire head and face. My eye make-up made me a little less recognizable to some (apparently, well, it was a dark night and people may have been drinking) and so for much of the party we had real fun having people try to guess our 'real life' identities. Especially with my husband it was a thrilling game.. he wouldn't even speak until people figured out his true identity.

As our friends tried to figure it out they sometimes became frustrated... but mostly joined in the fun of the game and of the task at hand. Once they figured it out, laughs all around and all joyful merriment of a Halloween party for grown-ups with no kids yet. Even still, through the entire night, my husband never did take off his mask. It wasn't until we got home that he finally showed his face to me again and I had the relief of seeing that yes, it really was him all along.

Yeah, that's kind of how the One works in this Tantrik system. As you know, the One is in the many. The One is all of us but she is hidden within us in plain sight and so, we forget that we are actually Her. Totally forget it. It's like we all have on our Mexican wrestling masks and don't know or see who we are or who anyone else is. The teaching that goes with this that I love is: The One Citi-Shakti, conceals herself within all of the manifest world simply for the DELIGHT of Revelation. This life is one big giant Halloween party where the One is each of us in our masks enjoying the play of the guessing game and hoping to finally reveal herself as she is. She does it on purpose, for FUN. And so for us, the fun, the candy and the treats come when we learn to see past the mask and even take it off, even if only for an instant, to reveal the Universe sparkling within all that is. But we can also take a lesson from Shakti-Ma and learn to enjoy the Game too. Not just craving the revelation moments, but also the wandering and the guessing. We already know the answer so why not enjoy the search and the waiting for the mask to come off too? And, of course, the power that reveals... the hand that removes the mask for us at any moment is Shakti's Grace.

There is some superstition or maybe it's wisdom, I'm not up on this stuff just yet, that says that tonight, Halloween, and the next few nights, the veil between the world of Spirit and of Humanity, or maybe that the line between Concealment and Revelation is a lot less solid. That there is much more interconnection, maybe even greater instances of Grace in these times. During a spiritually potent time such as now if we are Open to Grace we have a greater shot at removing the mask and seeing all that Is. Tonight when I'm out in the cold and the dark, when I'm not wishing for warmth and light, I hope to fix my mind again on Grace. Open to her wisdom and notice just what she chooses to reveal to me.

Happy Hauntings... may you have many many treats this year!!!

Fall Clearing

2011-10-26T07:19:00.001-04:00

The other day I mentioned that the rhythm of Autumn really is about clearing and cleaning up. I truly am amazed that I've never noticed or thought about Fall in this way. It makes me really excited and happy to finally figure it out.

I thought I'd bring you 5 Fall Clearing tips to use for yourself as you get yourself prepped for Winter this year.

Do Twisting Postures -- If you're a yogi you already know, twists are where it's at to clean out your system. Seated or standing they have incredible benefits for moving toxins right out and balancing the entire body and nervous system. To go for even more cleansing get a sweat on every day or so.
Yoga Nidra -- I describe YN as Yoga Hypnosis. A more accurate description can be found here. But I highly recommend an ongoing practice of Yoga Nidra at this time of year for the profound rest it can bring. Also, setting an intention of release of what no longer serves you might just open up some new space deep in your energy bodies.
Spot Clean -- Pick just one spot in your living space that is making you crazy and CLEAN IT UP. Maybe it's a pesky closet, or a disorganized drawer, maybe your shoes are out of control... whatever it is, take an evening and clean it. I promise you you will be amazed by the resulting mental clarity and ease that will come when you have a little more order in your space.
Food Check -- Even if only for a few days try some way of cleaning up your diet. You don't have to do a full-on detox/cleanse to get some remarkable results. Just add in more fruits or veggies or try kicking chocolate for 3 days straight. Even drinking more water can have profound effects on your mental functioning and physical experience.
Have that Conversation -- You know the one I mean. The one that is bouncing around in your head causing you stress/anxiety/lost sleep/irritation/anger/frustration... etc. That one. If it's in there causing you strife it is blocking you from moving forward. Have it out and see how the air will clear.

These all are falling under the Sauca heading for me. Sauca (one of Patanjali's Niyamas) in terms of not only cleanliness, but purification, and Clarity. I've been at some of these for a while now, but will be trying to keep it going and even add in a little more in the next few days. We'll see how it goes.

Autumn's Reminder

2011-10-24T09:05:00.000-04:00

Autumn - how have I never noticed the natural clearing time that is Autumn?

I feel like I have missed out on Nature's great secret -- the Cleaning comes in Autumn, not spring. Spring is to Grow... Autumn is to crash down and tear out and make way.

(We Americans are so backwards)

Shedding, Dropping, Scaling back

Letting go, Releasing, Setting free,

Clearing out, Cleansing, Withdrawing,

Going back to the Source

.... All the work of Autumn as she prepares us for the inevitability of Winter.

It has occurred to me lately that if I use my yoga as just another place to hold on and achieve without steeping in the deeper lessons - if I get the pose but not the sentiment - then I am lost. Because, one day Handstand and Hanumanasana, cute clothes, packed classrooms, and exciting workshops will all be a distant memory. I will shed them with the increase of my years like red leaves finally floating to Earth. Bare bones, empty branches, I'll be like everyone else... still here, still with myself.

I hope this life of yoga will amount to more than mourning the passing of youth and a grasping reliving of the glory days. I hope Grace will guide me somewhere deeper, where the letting go is joyfully matched by a letting in and by Delight in all I've learned.

I hope that by the time the poses are dropping from me like leaves from the trees these lessons on compassion, beauty, wonder, joy, commitment, openness, forgiveness, and especially LOVE are so deeply rooted into the wood of my Being that they stay when all else goes.

Yes, this is more than just a physical practice I'd say. Much more.

This is spiritual training of the deepest sort.

May I be constantly reminded ... let go of the pose. Let go into Grace of Heart... "go there and roam."

Rooting to Find Joy!

2011-10-18T15:42:00.003-04:00

Cooking brings me Joy!

This fall I doubled my load of weekly classes from 2 to 4. For the most part, I love it because I'm truly loving teaching right now. But sometimes, it's a little challenging to come up with 4 themes for the week. And I know I could re-use themes, and I do, but often each class is doing something different and needs to hear something different.. the same old theme just won't work.

This morning I found myself in my kitchen without inspiration for either of the two classes I am to teach this evening. The sequences and plans are all laid, I just don't know how I'm going to inspire students and touch their hearts. So, I went back to the beginning and asked: What do I want them to feel, and get from this or any class?

and my answer was that I really want people to Love their Lives! I want them to get excited and inspired during the practice and for that to bubble over into excitement and inspiration towards loving their lives!!

(that solved the theme problem)

I think back to what Todd often says which is: The way to happiness is to figure out what you Love and to find a way to spend more time with it. Do what you Love and you will be Happy.

I have to agree. This year has been a year of rooting myself and grounding myself into my own life. A year of finding out what is important to me and letting what isn't important fall away like the leaves off the trees. As I come to the autumn of this year of hugging-in I can tell you I am WAY happier in my life than I was just last year at this time. I'm extremely more at home in my life and it is because I'm constantly clearing away what does not serve me and moving always towards what makes me happy. That means I turn off the TV more often and pick up my sewing projects. I get off the internet and settle onto my mat. I don't bother with people who aren't bothering with me and put my energy into those who I love and adore. And I step away from facebook to give the time and attention to class planning and presentation that is needed for a kick-butt class. My life is rocking in a way it never rocked before. Because I'm actually IN it and am carving out moment by moment the time and space to do what just makes me happy.

Thing is, when we ground ourselves and root ourselves into what brings us joy there is an automatic opening. Our hearts swell and overflow because our soul is getting so deeply fed. When the heart is swollen to overflowing that's when we know we're tapping into Source and making our way, even briefly into connection with the deepest joy, Ananda, that is the ground of being for all of existence. And that, my friends, is a good enough reason for me to get on the mat time and time again.

Contemplate: What brings me joy and how can I do more of it? (and if you don't know what brings you joy... think about when you were 5 or 10 years old, what brought you joy then? it will probably bring you joy now too)

Friday Quote

2011-10-14T14:34:00.001-04:00

You are what your deep driving desire is.

As your desire is, so is your will. As your will, so is your deed.

As your deed so is your destiny.

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV 4.5

Just can't Stop!!

2011-10-13T16:30:00.002-04:00

Once again, I'll call your attention to a beautiful Anusara yoga teacher on the cover of Yoga Journal. I told my husband that Elena Brower was on the cover and his reaction was: 1. why do I know that name? and 2. ANOTHER Anusara teacher? -- I have to say, that speaks volumes because my husband is decidedly NOT a yoga guy but could tell you anything you want to know about BMWs...

There she is, Beautiful, Vibrant, RADIANT Elena Brower out of NYC but found all over the world these days, I think.

I have to admit, I seriously adore her. At the moment, in many ways, she's sort-of my yoga idol... and I'm amazed at that because I've never had one before. As today is her birthday I figured I'd comment on some of the ways she rocks:

She tells it like it is. All the time. And she's been doing that for a long long time
She makes Anusara her own
When I took class with her at the Grand Circle she took the time to 1. learn each and every students' name and 2. thank all the people who were over her age of 40 for even listening to anything she had to say
The next day after class at the Grand Circle she took the time to wave and greet me individually as I walked into a different class.
She has a vibrance and radiant light that is apparent even via the internet
She is a Woman and a Mother
And she openly talks about the journey that Handel Group life coaching took her on and how it has transformed her life.

I want to be like that in my life on the mat and off. I want to be authentic and radiant in my authenticity. Brilliant in my knowledge and practice while kind and attentive of heart. I am in awe and inspired by her on so many levels which I think is a good thing. I'm happy actually to have a positive woman role model in the world of Yoga. Glad she is standing up and becoming a leader so that the rest of us can do it for ourselves too. So, Happy Birthday Elena -- Keep shining the goodness!!

Who do you Admire in your own work or play???

3 years

2011-10-12T14:38:00.002-04:00

Babe turned 3 today... this morning a little after 10am actually. It marks the 3 year anniversary of the single most sweeping and total change to ever take place in my life. It marks the 3 year anniversary of really needing a yoga "fix" just about every day. And the 3 year anniversary of the beginning of the continuously unfolding experience of the phrase: "living your yoga off the mat." Thank the good goddess Babe loves to dress up in princess dresses and twirl around in a tiara to end her day each day. No matter what has happened in the last 12 hours she is a constant reminder of how to look for the good and live in joy and wonder. Happy Birthday to the princess!!

Ooops!

2011-10-11T16:00:00.002-04:00

I got confirmation today that Anusara really is an organization that I love and feel I want to represent in the world.

A few weeks ago I was accepted into the workshop John will be offering in College Park, MD. I got my confirmation email, sort-of noted that the payment deadline was approaching, and went along my merry way. Well, all weekend this weekend I kept thinking about that workshop and that I'd better go ahead and pay for it... but, of course, I never did.

Last night around 8pm I opened my email to find I'd missed the payment deadline which was last Friday. OMG!!! And, that I'd needed to pay by 3pm yesterday to reserve my spot. Oh NO!!

This is incredibly embarrassing because I've been making a huge deal about how awesome it is that John is going to be teaching so close to RVA. How great it will be to carpool up there and actually represent RVA with a group of us at the workshop. I convinced a friend to challenge herself to do both mixed and int/adv with me (not a small price tag either) and on and on.... And now, I'm not going to be able to go? OH CRAP!!

I was embarrassed and totally annoyed with myself. REALLY? How could I let this slide. THIS of all things!

Luckily, Anusara is awesome. This morning I called Donna (who handles all things workshop) she pulled me up in the computer, took my payment over the phone and gladly assured me all was well. What was great about it too was that she didn't make me feel bad or even seem lightly annoyed that I was giving her this extra work to do. She seemed genuinely sweet and kind.

And that's what I love. I missed the deadline, I messed up. And yet, I'm granted a second chance, I haven't lost out and am not in big big trouble for it. This is a lovely organization. I'm happy to be a part of it.

And, I'm ready to ROCK with John in a few weeks!

Make Love Monday #13

2011-10-10T16:00:00.003-04:00

Make Love Monday -- a mission to create a more loving world by being aware of how we interact with each other and choosing connection. Choose to connect with the offered practice sometime during the week and report back on how it goes.You've heard it a million times before, and it sounds a little crazy.. but I swear to you it can start to change your whole day.

Look into your own Eyes in the mirror and say "I Love You"

(Do it aloud) Watch your pupils dilate, feel a smile creep over your lips and a warmth spread through your body. It is a simple simple practice of putting the vibration of love --not hate and disappointment-- into the fabric of your cells. I tell you, it can change you. And if you're at all paying attention you'll notice, as you change everyone around you does too. So take a few minutes and try it today, no matter how weird it seems. I promise you'll feel better, I know I always do.

Friday Quote

2011-10-07T14:54:00.002-04:00

We are meant to move toward whatever gives us fulfillment,

personal growth, and freedom. We are born knowing what activities,

things, thoughts, and feelings are associated with these qualities.

We must learn to trust ourselves and know that we can naturally

move towards that which is healing and fulfilling.

-Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom 2010

Committed to Joy

2011-10-07T14:35:00.002-04:00

I've been teaching this week from a different space of mind/heart. I'm not sure what exactly made the shift come, but it's there and I'm enjoying it and also feeling more effective... so I'll definitely not complain. Thing is, it makes me really really happy to teach and especially to teach from my authentic heart. REALLY HAPPY!

As I was planning for my new beginner class this week I was thinking about using Commitment as our focus. That as inspiration to come to the midline and stay there. But then I thought, well, why do we want to commit? What are we really committing to in asana practice? What can a beginner grasp as something worth committing energy to the midline? And the answer became abundantly clear: Happiness. Joy. Delight. Ananda.

We hug in with greater and greater commitment to the place in the middle where the Joy lives!

I've taught commitment theme before and gotten great results from students, but adding in the Joy piece took it to a new level. Now we're not just committing to practice committing but also to bring ourselves into greater alignment with our hearts and that (for me at least) equals greater and greater happiness.

Todd says Happiness is an Inside Job. And I'm inclined to agree. The more I stay committed to listening to my own inner wisdom, the wisdom of my body and heart; the more I stay committed to shutting down the ISBC; the more I stay committed to following Grace wherever she may lead... The more blissful I become.

So that's the challenge.. Find what makes you happy, and commit to that. No one else will do it for you, commit and see what happens.

Love, Ya'll.

Make Love Monday #12

2011-10-03T07:25:00.003-04:00

This one is kind of tricky but can be very effective for opening our hearts and expanding our brightness in this world. It's tricky because it can feel uncomfortable at times to do this, but I find it very very important.

Today's MLM is to:

Brag about Yourself

Do it with a friend to listen and then switch and let your friend brag back to you. I know, bragging sounds a little crazy. How is that going to make the world a better place, you ask? Well, my feeling is that we keep our accomplishments on the DL and then complain at a high volume quite often. What this does is keep us in a routine of complaint and diminishing ourselves. Instead, if we could each have at least one person where we could talk about how proud of ourselves we are, how amazed and happy we are about any accomplishment (emotional and spiritual ones too) it would brighten the day and the light we are able to share.

It's great to find a friend to do this with because then your friend gets the turn to be happy and proud of herself as well. It's important to do that for yourself, OFTEN.

You are awesome, your friend is awesome... there is plenty of awesome to go around. Let's start talking about THAT and see how much better we feel and brighter the world seems.

I challenge you to start right here (or on my FB page) leave a comment and let me know one thing you're proud of yourself for in the last week, month, year... your whole life. Go for it my friends... I"ll be cheering you on!!

Friday Quote

2011-09-30T09:22:00.001-04:00

I am safe in the Universe, and All life loves and Supports me

I breathe in the fullness and richness of Life.

I observe with joy as Life abundantly supports me

and supplies me with more good than I can imagine.

-A power thought card by Louise L. Hay

Order! Order Please!

2011-09-28T13:45:00.003-04:00

This meeting of the IBSC will now come to order. We have many sides to hear from this morning so let's get moving, shall we?

Let's see. First on the agenda the HM section, HM:

A yes, well you're a horrible mother, you are disconnected from your little one, you hate being a mom. Her clothes are a wreck, you can't seem to do anything right, and she keeps growing up on you and you're not even paying attention. Have you seen her breakfast lately, and how much TV is she actually watching these days?

And next up we have HT sector:

You are a Horrible Teacher. You literally stink at teaching yoga. Your themes fall flat and don't make sense. Students just don't get it. You'll never, and I mean NEVER, be good enough to get Certified. Seriously you should just quit

Also reporting today BS department

Well, I've lost my notes but I don't need them to tell you how much your body sucks. It is so weak and did you notice that little bit of fat over on the right hip, and how much your bum is turning into flab. I mean you're not fat... but you're definitely getting there. FAST. You have no stamina to speak of and omg you're getting gray hairs and as always those circles under your eyes oy!

General suckage, we'll hear from you now too:

I mean, well, you're just a bad person all around. You'll always be alone, you know. you don't take care of your friends, you don't call your brothers, you only think of yourself

Whiners here too?

It's really really hard! You'll never feel happy again, EVER.

well... you're a terrible mother, And you're a horrible person, and you're a bad teacher -- i mean will you EVER master hands on adjustments. You feed your daughter crappy food. You eat when you're not hungry. You should listen to your body more. You should sleep more. You should call your grandmothers. Your yoga practice is not what it should be. You should spend less time on the internet. Seriously curl up and die. Your clothes are all wrong, your hair is too short ....

ORDER, PLEASE!!

(You suck!)

I SAID ORDER!

Now. Everyone has had their say? Yes, I see. The Chair will respond... SUCK IT, IBSC !!! I will no longer be believing any of your crap, because it is all Lies. Thank-you. Any more closing remarks? (oh it seems everyone has left) With that, we're adjourned.

Have you laid down the law with your IBSC lately?

Don't know the IBSC? Let me explain because each of us has our own personal IBSC -- Itty Bitty Shitty Committee (Todd and Ann's label). It's the department of our ego that when allowed to run amok will feed us crappy toxic thoughts designed to stop us and keep us from doing anything. Then it will 'should' all over the place until we are locked down beaten and bruised and literally unable to fight back. There's apparently no enemy to fight because it's all in our heads. And the worst part is: We BELIEVE every single word the IBSC says because it is specifically branded just for us. Every bit of it. We literally eat the shit right up and then are confused and wonder why we feel so toxic inside.

My life coach from Handel Group, Hildie, has been reminding me a lot lately not to let my IBSC get the best of me. She's been helping me to purge the crap and then fight back with the best loving, affirming, and truthful words I can muster. She says the best thing to do with anything that is plaguing us is to bring our awareness to it, then it immediately loses its power. Kind of like being afraid of a dark corner until you shine a flashlight in it or turn on the lights and see that nothing is really there. It's hard to hide in the darkness when the lights are turned on.

I am still a ways off from having the lights fully turned on in this corner of my ego. (my IBSC was running rampant again this morning... shut up already!!) But just this little bit of awareness is already helping me see how powerful my thoughts are... and to remember that that's all they are, thoughts, and thoughts can change.

With that, my IBSC is losing members one by one and I'm sure will be defunct any day now. And if you catch me 'shoulding' anywhere I'm not supposed to be just let me know and I'll clean up my own mess right away.

The best upside of this? Yesterday, after I cleaned up after my IBSC and did the work necessary to get there, my husband looked at me and told me I looked "beautiful." I looked in the mirror, that cloudy face was gone and I was clear and detoxed. I DID look Beautiful. Because I AM. (and I can write that without my IBSC getting in the way!)

Contemplation: Have you caught up with your IBSC lately? What lies is it feeding you and how do you work with them.

More? Check out Bernadette Birney's Shut the Fuck up post. This is exactly the work we can all do.

Media Buffet

2011-09-27T08:42:00.004-04:00

Some days I feel like there is so much information available on the web that I can't quite digest all of it. I want to take it all in because it is like a virtual buffet of great, valuable, useful information, but my goodness there is a LOT of it. Some days I just have to unplug and not pay attention to any of it... so take or leave this post as you will.

I thought I'd let you know of some of the offerings out there that are timely.

First, John Friend is quoted in this month's Whole Living magazine in an article on yoga by Claire Dederer (author of Poser). It's nice that she's going through many different types of yoga and speaks to a few people, but John has two beautifully phrased statements on the value of Anusara yoga in the mix. One nice one is: "No matter what a practitioner's intention, under the auspices of a skilled teacher, students can have a direct experience of their very core which will transcend ideas of religion and complicated metaphysical doctrine."

Next up, I know some of my friends who read this do not subscribe to Yoga Journal. I'm sharing with you in mind that they are offering a 7-day Fall Detox program. It's free and you just go online and follow their steps. In truth, I'm very interested in the program but haven't actually gotten there to check it out or get started. I do recommend Yoga Journal for the most part and a friend from high school works for Dr. Blossom who designed the program and I trust Andrew. So I think it's worth checking out. The main idea is that fall is a time of clearing and preparing for the dark hibernation of winter so it's an especially good time to cut back on prana-sucking behaviors and up the life-enhancing ones. The program includes tools to support you including suggestions for: diet, herbs, yoga, breathing, meditation, and self-care from an Ayurvedic perspective. (just writing this makes me want to sign on!!!)

Finally, I've personally been thinking a lot about the Divine Feminine again and about becoming more knowledgeable and connected to the Goddess energy and mythology. I need to be a woman more in my life (and if you want to hear more about the Goddess on the blog let me know, you might just get her anyway). So it is very timely that in sifting through older emails this morning I came across a link to this: The Divine Feminine Yoga Telesummit. It is a collection of recordings of women speaking of the Divine Feminine in connection to yoga. (uh, perfect for me!) There are about 15 different recordings with presenters that include Shiva Rea and Sally Kempton and many others who I don't know. Again this is one that I've not yet used but am planning to check out shortly. And, it's FREE! can't argue with that!

So, a few more offerings out there on the web or on the page for you to digest as you'd like. I hope you enjoy them and let me know what speaks to you through them. Enjoy!

Make Love Monday #11

2011-09-26T13:28:00.003-04:00

This week it's all in the eyes. I've noticed lately that often the people who are providing me with a service (like the man at the grocery store, or the waitstaff at the restaurant) don't make much eye contact. It's like they're too busy to really notice me. In response I don't care to notice them all that much and we kind of ignore each other and let a moment that could have been a nice connection between two people go to waste.

So today's MLM is simple and quick:

Make Eye Contact

Do it with everyone from your cat to your kid to the person who is helping you with whatever you need. Notice who is able to make eye contact back and who can't quite do it. Also, notice if it helps to shift your interactions. For me I'm finding if I take the time to just simply look someone in the eye the whole conversation has the potential to open us both up for connection rather than disconnection.

Let me know, ya'll!

Friday Quote #14

2011-09-22T16:13:00.005-04:00

Lauryn Hill in 2001

"Fantasy is what people want, but Reality is what they need"

-Lauryn Hill

Practice weekend...

2011-09-22T15:52:00.003-04:00

This past weekend I had the lovely and very lucky experience of being able to practice with my teacher, Todd Norian, in Columbia SC. It was a weekend workshop, not any sort of training, and it was fabulous.

After all the immersion and teacher training work, to just be in the same room with Todd as he led us deep into Hanumanasana and Trivikramasana and into literally jumping around the room as monkeys was a huge gift. Plus, no matter that he is in some pain right now, he is the model of teacher I want to be. A person of service through and through. He took extra time to give me some therapeutics to keep working on undoing the imbalances of life and motherhood. He is masterful at spinning Tantric philosophy but also at infusing it with good common sense and with affirmations towards attracting the life you want, brilliant really. And, he's funny. I'd forgotten what a jokester he can be. I think it's his personal traveling joke to see how many words he can get to rhyme in each of his instructions. It's always entertaining to workshop with him.

So here are some of the gems from the practice this weekend. Some are Tantrik philosophy, some are affirmations, and some are just Todd being Todd:

Don't wait for perfection to follow your heart
Our greatness is not measured by our achievements -- more by how well we follow our hearts
Yoga brings on soreness -- and is also the remedy for soreness
We can't ever get rid of fear, but don't let it stop you from fulfilling your life -- take your fear with you
Love is always stronger than fear
Courage is a facility we all have to be able to follow our hearts from the known into the unknown again and again.
The only way to the impossible is through the possible
To get to the impossible focus on what you CAN do and go only one step at a time
A setback is a set up for a comeback (one of my favorites he always says)

This one was new to me... and one that I've been paying close attention to in my life as of late:

Let your afterwards be your teacher -- as in, after you do something, reflect on it to decide if you want to do that again (his example was drinking a full bottle of wine the night before a workshop... hmmm... maybe not so optimal)

Anyway... a year's worth of wisdom spilled out in 10 hours of yoga. 12 hours in the car to be there was totally worth it and allowed plenty of time for thought and reflection. I'm totally grateful.

You may hear one or two of these little gems popping out in the next few weeks of practice if you're close enough to take class.

Which one stands out to you today??

Hug the Light

2011-09-21T16:28:00.002-04:00

It's time to shift again. Autumn Equinox is upon us. And, as I mentioned in the last post, I'm feeling the transition full force in my life. Something about the arrival of Autumn tends to want to take me on a wicked spiral into the darkness many months before Kali even officially arrives for Winter Solstice. Such is life some days.

Today I was practicing -- because you know, practice helps keep the darkness at bay. Wolves and vampires too -- practicing with John (by video) and I just remembered the last time I was with him. It was for Summer Solstice. The brightest, most radiant, light-filled day of the year. And on that day it was, as he likes to say, resplendent with light, not a cloud in the sky.

He coached us to call up our positive visions. To set our intentions clearly and to fully embrace the light, because it was the turning point towards darkness.

That reminder came to mind as I moved into the dark creaky spaces of my hips this afternoon. I remember my Highest vision -- the image I lovingly burned into my consciousness on that morning in June. And I hold on true.

We've been moving slowly but surely into darkness every moment since that day. But Autumn Equinox is the tipping point. Now the darkness starts to win a little more time each day. So now is the time to really hug the light.

Remember the Highest vision of your heart. Remember your Highest, Honor your Highest and delight in what is revealed each time you turn again to the light.

I am breathing a sweet sigh of relief today as the darkness backs off her pull on me. "Be the Light" he said to me in 2007. And, John, that's just what I'm doing.

Yeah, I hate that

2011-09-19T15:42:00.003-04:00

I Hate that. I totally hate it. I really strongly dislike it when the blogs I like to read take an unexplained and uncalled for break. I really hate it. Like, don't the writers know that I'm personally relying on them to give me some beautiful piece of insight I hadn't realized before. Don't they know I need them? (well, actually, no they don't know because I'm a notoriously invisible reader and rarely if ever leave comments)

And that's my way of starting off to say... Sorry I left you hanging there last week. Life is chewing me up and spitting me back out all sorts of mangled and mauled. I don't particularly like using the blog as a platform for complaints so i'll just say... Life is Life and Transition is Transition. I'm glad for it all.

Again and again I'm just glad I practice a yoga that reminds me to wake-up in every instant. That what is being shown to me and what I am learning is simply here to teach me to engage with it MORE. (More? really? Yes, MORE). To engage. To live the life that I'm creating and is coming my way.

Challenges come, it is the way we respond to them that changes everything. I am glad for this framework.

So, somehow I'm going to discover a more ergonomic way to use my computer because everything I've tried so far hasn't helped my neck chill out. In the meantime, I'm missing you guys and thinking of you. And hoping to drop in again very soon.

Make Love Monday #10

2011-09-12T18:37:00.002-04:00

a little love for one of my best friends

The Make Love Monday comes a little late in the day this week. Busy days but happy busy so that's always nice. But, is it just me or is everyone around a little stressed and testy these days? I know what's going on in my life, and in friends' lives. And I know what's in our national consciousness. If there's also something in the stars... I'm not sure. In awareness of all of that your Make Love Monday task is to:

Give some good Hugs

Go out there and really hug some of the folks around you ... like you mean it. I personally am happy to get every hug offered and it just makes my day. Give 'em like they're Mardi Gras beads (as in abundantly) and enjoy the added benefit of receiving a hug back as you're giving it.

Enjoy!

Friday Quote #13

2011-09-09T15:52:00.003-04:00

the view from the car as my daughter walked into preschool for the first time this week

"Everything [ you experience] is designed

to give you remembrance of who you are really."

- Tara Judelle, Certified Anusara Teacher

What's in a Name?

2011-09-08T13:41:00.002-04:00

Photo from the Yoga Journal site

What do you call this pose? This pose where you're lunging while your back knee is on the floor, with the shin and foot on the wall pointing straight up, your back may even be flat to the wall and arms stretching up it. What do you call it?

In our kula here in Richmond there's a little running joke about this pose. (yoga journal calls it King Arthur's pose by the way). One of the teachers, and the first to introduce me to this pose, calls it The Dreaded Thigh Stretch. Then a student who comes in for visits from Missouri shared that in her kula they call it Torture Pose. Those names DO in fact sum up the experience of being in that position for any length of time.

But the joke about the pose is that in my class we call it by the name given by one of the students: New Legs Pose. New Legs. Now doesn't that just seem much more inviting and worth it than Torture Pose?

Part of the Highest vision of Anusara is to look for the Good. And it is truly to look for the Absolute Good... but that starts with the small stuff. Like instead of grimacing and revving up for torture before attempting a challenging (and sometimes painful) pose, smile and look forward to the outcome. I always feel like I have new legs after King Arthur's pose. If we look for the good in the small stuff, it just becomes a habit and we start to see the good in the bigger more complicated moments of "Torture" in our lives." It's at least worth considering.

The end of the running joke in our kula is that once you do this pose fairies come skipping out of your rear and dancing all around the room because we're just so happy to have New Legs.

Or not.

Contemplation: What have I purposefully or mindlessly labeled as "bad" (or some variation of bad) that I could go back and re-name to possibly shift my experience of it? (a pose, a person, a place, a job... anything) Search for the power of the words and see how they shift your experience.

"Pain is not normal"

2011-09-07T16:00:00.003-04:00

Oh my aching neck! she says yet again. This weekend I found myself in the clutches of my new nemesis: Neck pain -- well, shoulder, upper back, and neck pain. I'd spent quite a few hours in the car, done some intensive backbending with minimal warming-up and planted myself in front of the computer (at the non-ergonomically designed desk) for a little too long, and my neck was letting me know it. Stiffness that went up both sides and culminated in inability to concentrate or think or even see clearly with the ongoing menace of a migraine ready to happen. It did not feel good.

Being in this predicament led me to remember two things. First, from the therapeutics training I took with Todd Norian a few years ago: "Pain is not normal" It simply is not normal to be in pain all the time, and this pain is the reminder that we are somehow out of line with what is most optimal. Which is actually a pretty optimistic thought -- because if pain is caused by being out of alignment, the way to get out of pain is to get into alignment.

And this brings me to my second recollection : this post from Certified Anusara teacher Zhenja la Rosa out of NYC. She's complaining of pretty much the same problem - pain in the neck when she realizes not only does she have to align, but every time she gets out of alignment she has pain, so she has to align ALL THE TIME. All the time.

All the time sounds kind of daunting. But after checking in with my MD and getting his assessment ("you need a really good massage") I realized that was exactly what I needed to do. Get on the mat, get into alignment, and stay the heck there at all times. Certainly easier said than done, but I can tell you that after 3 days of deep therapeutic and detailed work I'm feeling much better.

And that's the crux. Pain is not normal. Physical pain, emotional pain, even spiritual pain, NONE of them are normal. And the only way out is to notice when and where you are misaligned. If it is physical, what part of your body is tweaking and needs to come to Optimal Alignment. If it is emotional pain you're coping with, what part of your heart are you refusing to honor? If it is spiritual pain, how connected to your Essence Nature are you, and how much can you back off and let it lead the way? After you notice the misalignment the fix is simple: Align. Align early, Align often, Align always (as in, not just on the mat).

That way when the possibility of big pain comes... the heartache, the loss, the separation from Source that seems irreparable, some tiny piece may just stay glued in there to that space that is so deeply aligned you cannot be shaken. And while the loss may be real and the grief may be real, maybe some agony can be avoided.

As John Friend says it: Align with the Divine. All will be well.

(and yes, I will still take that massage!)

Contemplation: Where am I experiencing pain in my body, heart, or spirit, and what path could lead me into deeper alignment?

Make Love Monday #9

2011-09-05T16:19:00.005-04:00

Are you at all taking it easy this Labor Day Monday? If you're anything like me, my family, or all my friends on facebook, you're not slowing down one bit even if you have the day off from work. But, isn't it the point of Labor Day to actually STOP from your labors and relax?

With that in mind, this week's MLM is designed to help you do just that. So, this week, sit down relax and take a few minutes to:

Rub your feet

and then even share the love by rubbing someone else's feet if you are inspired.

At one of the workshops John gave recently he talked about how our tension can be greatly relieved if we just stop and give our feet a little rub. He said that people always ask to have their shoulders and necks rubbed, but if you start on the feet the relaxation will travel the length of your body and your entire system will feel better.

I hope you take the time to do it at some point in the next 7 days, even if you're too busy to get to it today. Enjoy!

Have a Make Love Monday tip? Hook me up! Send me an email at spack2@hotmail.com with MLM in the subject line. I'd love to share it (and if you get up on the blog you'll get a free class with me if you're in town, and something else awesome if you're not)

Casting out the Spirits!!!

2011-09-01T15:50:00.003-04:00

Ah Vacation.... We spent the last week in Maine on a family trip. It was lovely, even with a hurricane that took out our last day. I pretty much existed on lobster with tons of butter, fresh baked goods, hand-picked blueberries, s'mores and cocktails.

Yes, I know, Cocktails? Really?

Really. I haven't had this much alcohol in such a short period of time in at least the last 3.5 years. It's been since before I was a mom, before I was nursing, before I was pregnant. And that seems like eons ago.

Now, before you get all crazy and think I went on a week long swim in the ETOH you should know, when I say I "existed on cocktails" you should read it as: I had a drink at each dinner, plus a sip or two from whatever my hubby was having. I know, BIG drinker right here. That said, one mixed drink is enough to make me a wee bit tipsy. Woo-Hoo! Watch out for Party-Girl-Fischer!

The return to RVA and to my life and my mat (which I sadly admit gathered a LOT of dust last week) has also meant a mini-detox for my body. Ugh! It isn't pretty and it isn't fun. S'mores, lobster, butter and baked goods are all quite lovely, but they don't exactly set the stage for my cells to be singing with glee. Add in the removal of alcohol from anywhere it chose to deposit itself in my system and I can tell you my yoga practice has definitely felt MUCH better before.

And once again, all I can say is thank goodness I practice yoga. Thank goodness I have a practice in my life that will set straight all the haywire stuff I do to make myself crooked. I tend to focus on the emotional and the spiritual in my practice and in this blog. But, this is a physical practice and it has real physical benefits and I am glad for it.

Anusara doesn't say anything much particularly about diet or alcohol. We honor our bodies as the divine temple of the soul, but you're not going to come into class and hear a speech about not eating meat or the requirement that you become a vegan or something. In this Tantric approach, as I understand it, we are meant to have a wide range of experiences. In fact, we are meant to push our edges and expand them. And, as long as you do it with balance back in the other direction you can practically do what you want. So, in theory, from this perspective you could go on a frat party bender complete with 5 straight nights of keg-stands and follow it with a super detoxifying week of practice that would somehow land you back in the middle of health. And in that way would still be living the Tantric life. That's the theory. But if you take into account the other side of things, the belief that the Divine is actually living IN you AS you, it might make you rethink the keggers. I mean, I personally don't want to be the one who is responsible for giving the Divine alcohol poisoning.

All I can say as this week of detox continues and my body lets me know just how much I should NOT be skipping out on practice: Yoga is a hell of a lot easier when I'm not using it to try to clean up the mess I made last night. So while I'm in no way asked to forgo alcohol for Anusara or for my yoga practice. I'll probably make that choice 9 out of 10 times. Because the way I feel in my body and on my mat is a heck of a lot more important to me than the spinny feeling I get in my head for a few minutes after a cool drink.

Contemplation: How has your practice influenced your eating/drinking/living choices?

Ganesh Request

2011-08-29T21:36:00.003-04:00

Om Sri

Vakratunda Mahaakaaya KoteeSurya Sama Prabha

Nirvignam kuru mey Deva

Sarva Kaaryeshu Sarvadaa

Since we last spoke there has been an Earthquake, a Hurricane, very little yoga, power and water loss, and an impromptu 13+ hour drive from Maine to VA (with a lovely almost 3 year old) in my life. We made it through each one unharmed and with no damage to our property, and hardly any complaining to boot.

I have some sincere gratitude for the round bellied dude who must be watching out for me and my family these days. I owe him some sweets!

O Lord Ganesha of large body, curved trunk,

with the brilliance of a million suns,

please make all my work free of obstacles, always. Om

Shri

2011-08-23T09:22:00.006-04:00

Shri = Beauty

Shri Made

Shri Received

Shri cultivated

:: Finally, my earrings are beautifully organized

:: Beautiful silk saris and delicate bangles from India, gifted me by an old school friend who is moving out of the country

:: Flowers growing in the school garden down the street from my house

It is one of the highest purposes of practicing Anusara yoga to co-create with the force of Life to bring more Beauty into this world. Look for it everywhere, and bring it forward.

Make Love Monday #8

2011-08-22T07:13:00.004-04:00

This week, your assignment is to do something for yourself. A little self love is never amiss, because if you can't love yourself, how will you ever learn to love anyone else in a real and true way? So for this week (and a little longer because I'll be on vacation next Monday) your assignment is to:

Write yourself a Love letter

That's right. Get out pen and paper or a beautiful card and write a letter to yourself as you are right now. Write it as if you had just fallen deeply in love with yourself and are seeing all of your wonderful gifts and strengths for the first time. You could write it directly into your journal or somewhere else that you'll see it on a regular basis. This might be a good thing to do after a juicy yoga practice when your heart is wide open and you feel a little more positive. Or do it when you feel crummy and see if it shifts your mood a little bit. Just give it a try and tell me how it went for you. "Dear Darling Sarah, Guess how much I love you.... Let me count the ways.... " Embellish and Enjoy!

Friday Quote #12

2011-08-19T14:17:00.003-04:00

photo from Anusara's Facebook Page

"Be an embodiment of positive vision for the world"

-John Friend

(on the occasion of Anusara's 14th Birthday this week)

In and Out and Up and Down

2011-08-17T21:18:00.002-04:00

'Eventually, everything that has an opposite, will give way to its opposite'... so Hareesh said while we were gathered for the Grand Circle in June.

It's true. It's happening all the time

Last night I taught on actively bringing Luck into your life (and "luck" was my code word for blessings, because some people aren't super down with being Blessed --like my husband for example). Anyway, it came out of an amazing past few days. I had the best past few days. Great classes, great practices, great meditation, great weather, great food, great time with my daughter and husband and best friend, and time to do just exactly what I want to do. Ah. I truly looked around yesterday and said 'I am SO Blessed'

and then I woke up this morning. I was exhausted, I was an hour late waking up so I rushed my meditation practice, I had to take my daughter to get vaccinated before she can go to school (so that's always fun), I spent the morning eating crappy food, fighting traffic, and being pulled out of center, asana practice didn't solve anything and neither did my time on the internet (go figure). Finally a sweet walk at the end of the day helped to settle the whirlwind of dust. It wasn't a horrible day by any means. It just wasn't a day that felt particularly AWESOME or connected to anything Higher.

And that's the thing. I'm always flipping back and forth --falling down and off the wagon. But I make a choice to try again and not to dissolve into the yummy chocolate ice cream we made yesterday. Not to think that I'll never feel so connected again. The beauty of the path is that days like yesterday are revealed to remind us that THAT is our essence nature, that is who we are and that those magic Grace-filled days really are possible. They are there to remind us when these not so wonderous days do happen that there is something more worth striving picking ourselves up for.

I felt awkward yesterday, saying to the class of students who may have been in any place emotionally: "I am having a GREAT day!" But my goodness, if I don't stop, recognize and celebrate them when they come... these awesome days probably won't happen so much. And maybe a little of my magic rubbed off on them too. Or not, and that's ok. We can just know that whatever side of the coin we're on... we'll soon be visiting the other... and then back again.

That's why it's a path not a destination.

Happy Birthday!!! and Make Love Monday

2011-08-15T07:18:00.002-04:00

Today is Anusara's 14th Birthday! Hip Hip Hooray! Celebrate in the best way you can think of... 14 drop-backs might be fun. Or 14 minutes of savasana. Or 14 cupcakes. Whatever strikes you, but remember to Celebrate! (I even turned the blog purple for it)

So, for this week's MLM we celebrate Anusara by spreading the word. Your challenge is to:

Speak about something you Love

I envision finding someone who I haven't shared a lot about Anusara with (which could be hard) and telling them all about Anusara and why I love it. If you love Anusara you could do the same. But you could also find a friend and tell him/her about something else that sparks your soul, don't hold back, don't hold it in SHARE. And then switch. Listen about something they love as well.

Notice how your body expands, you have more space for breath, your heart flutters with excitement, and a smile comes to your lips. Notice the twinkle in your friend's eye, the beauty and relaxation in the face. The sweet happiness that pervades the space.

Love is a many layered experience. Loving an idea or an activity is not less than loving a person or community. And speaking of Love only makes it grow.

Have fun and report back! Happy Happy Birthday to us!

Life Coaching -- yeah, i'm doing that too

2011-08-14T16:46:00.002-04:00

Well - I outed myself this morning to my Sunday class that I've been doing the ubiquitous Handel Group life coaching since June. It pretty much rules. And now that it's out on the blogosphere I'm sure you'll be hearing much more about it in the weeks and months to come.

Anyhoo. I thought I'd share, for those who may be interested, that there is a teleseminar coming up this Wednesday 8/17 with Laurie Gerber of Handel and my friend from immersion, Katie Myer talking about the coaching process and about moving yourself forward. I'm finding the benefit in the coaching, I think my family are finding the benefit in my coaching, I think my students are finding the benefit in the coaching,... so I figure I should share. The nice thing is this is an affordable way to be introduced to their system. The description is below... and NOTE the 50% off with the code: yogakatie, that will mean it will only cost $10. So worth it for the hour of your time that just might start the shift you've been waiting for.

Enjoy the description, and let me know if you try it out. I'll be interested in hearing how it strikes you!

Did you ever wonder how YOU could be the person you always wanted to be? This teleseminar is like a tasting menu of a gourmet dinner. On the menu: how to pinpoint your dreams, how to stop sabotaging yourself with excuses, and how to get yourself to do what you know you should do. We will serve it up with a helping of this question: Did you know you can change your habits and even your personality once you figure out what’s really important to you, and learn the tools to get your heart, mind and body in alignment? President of Handel Group™ Life Coaching, Laurie Gerber will lead this hour-long exploration into aligning our heart, mind and body with special guest Katie Myer, an Anusara-Inspired™ yoga teacher. This is also a great way to explore our flagship program: The Life Coaching Crash Course.

Wednesday, August 17th
8:30-9:30pm ET Teleseminar
$20 (use code "YOGAKATIE" for 50% off!)

Register Here: http://www.handelgroup.com/life-coaching/one-hour-teleseminars/dive-into-the-promise-of-you/

PLEASE NOTE: BY REGISTERING FOR THIS CALL YOU WILL RECEIVE A LISTEN-BACK RECORDING AFTERWARDS.

SO NO NEED TO BE AVAILABLE FOR THE CALL TIME ITSELF, NECESSARILY.

BIO(S):
As President and Senior Life Coach with Handel Group Life Coaching, Laurie Gerber passionately oversees the whole company engaged in creating personal and breakthroughs with clients all over the world. Whether it’s finding a job you love, fixing your relationship, dropping excess weight or simply being ready for the next exciting chapter in life, the work you do at HGLC provides immediate inspiration, serious results and lasting knowledge.

Katie Myer, RYT-200, is an Anusara-Inspired™ yoga teacher committed to helping you create the life you love. Katie approaches yoga from both an intellectual and creative perspective, infusing her classes with mindfulness, a playful spirit and a connection to the heart. Anusara yoga has helped Katie uncover her most joyful, most authentic version of herself; her classes inspire others to consciously reveal their most authentic selves, while having a blast on the mat. Katie’s teaching is informed by her recovery from a back injury using the Anusara Universal Principles of Alignment™, and she delights in empowering students to free themselves from pain. Katie’s thirst for knowledge drives her to advance her understanding of yoga through regular studies with senior Anusara teachers. She is thankful for their unbounded generosity in sharing the gift of yoga. Learn more about Katie at www.yogakatie.com.

Friday Quote #11

2011-08-12T13:54:00.001-04:00

"We seek not rest, but transformation.

We are dancing through each other as doorways."

- Marge Piercy

Tunes

2011-08-11T16:13:00.005-04:00

I LOVE to practice with music. I mostly practice with music. But, my tunes can get a little dry. Here are three new (to me) albums I've been enjoying lately. I downloaded them all from iTunes but you could certainly buy them from Amazon or elsewhere. And I know the Jai Uttal one is available for streaming on Grooveshark and probably pandora too. Enjoy

Jai Uttal album Bhakti Bazaar. Sample it here at Amazon.

This one, Flying, by Garth Stevenson was profiled in Yoga Journal this month. I immediately checked it out and have been adoring it ever since. Sample here at Amazon

Totally digging this album Alive by Todd Boston. Sample it here on Amazon. Todd was the incredible musician for the Grand Gathering and I think for the teachers' gathering last month as well. Incredibly talented. Amazing, I'd say. Enjoy!

Standing in Wonder

2011-08-09T14:23:00.002-04:00

The view from my room in Bali, 2007

Some years ago I took a yoga retreat in Bali. To get there I flew something like 24 hours --from Vegas to Houston to Hawaii to Guam to Bali, Indonesia. We landed in the middle of the night there and were driven to Ubud, to the open air villas where we stayed. Then I collapsed into my bed in a total daze. In the morning, I opened my eyes in a new bedroom. I blinked myself awake and ventured to open the door and found myself staring into a completely foreign world. Vibrant green plants, stone sidewalks, statues of Ganesh, foreign people, smells of incense, offerings, cremation fires, motor bike fumes, new foods, new streets. All of it completely brand new... And the first thing I did was literally wander up the street with my mouth gaping wide open in a total state of amazed wonderment. Though I eventually got familiar with my surroundings, that feeling of total wonder that came from wildly expanding my world never left me.

Yoga asana and meditation practice can at times be like visiting a foreign land -- the land of my body, heart, spirit. It is a land of mysteries and new revelations -some I love, some I don't. The approach to the exploration can have huge effect on the entire experience. When I approach my practice with skepticism, a know-it-all mentality, or fear I quickly become blocked. I can't tap into the wellspring and I block my experience on the mat or cushion. On the other hand, if I come to my mat with a sense of wonder and amazement for whatever unfolds... I am opened into unknown experiences I could not possibly imagine. My body unlocks too.

As my body unlocks there is an unlocking of heart and an awakening of spirit. Thing is, Spirit delights in seeing the wonders of the world through my eyes (and your eyes), it's kind of why were here in the first place. So seeing with wonder, living in a state of wonder, cultivating a state of wonder take me to a deeper experience of the Self that is at the center of this yoga, which is precisely why we get on the mat to practice day after day.

Contemplation: What do you wonder? What does wonder feel like on your mat?

Make Love Monday #6

2011-08-08T13:05:00.002-04:00

This week's MLM is super important and came out of my weekend's activity. This weekend my sister and mother came to town to hostess a bridal shower for my sister-in-law to be. It was a lovely time of gathering our families together with a few friends to honor and acknowledge J. as she makes this transition. It reminds me how important it is to mark events, big and small, with some loving pause. With that in mind, this week's MLM is:

Celebrate

Certainly big events like babies and weddings and new jobs are cause for celebration, but smaller events can be too. Starting a new school, a child losing a tooth, mastery of a new skill or pose could be just a few. Even cleaning out the basement is a cause for celebration at my house! Anodea Judith lists Celebration as one of the seven ways we as individuals can contribute to a global opening of hearts that will bring humanity to a new level of awareness... from 'the love of power, to the power of love' and if that isn't cause enough to celebrate as often as possible, I don't know what is!

So, your MLM assignment for the week is to look for something to celebrate in yourself or someone else, no matter how small and DO IT!

Friday Quote #10

2011-08-05T10:26:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

"Consider that the saint you will one day become

exists in this very moment. Gaining access to your

highest potential, you can relish the reality of your

own longing fulfilled. It is you. Speak with it.

Ask questions about your spiritual journey and

how you are dealing with the circumstances of your life.

This is a fascinating exploration."

-Swami Shantananda

The Splendor of Recognition

An Exploration of the Pratyabhijna-hrdrayam

What means Yoga?

2011-08-04T15:43:00.002-04:00

Conversation a few days ago...

Babe (2.5 yrs): "Mom, What means Yoga?"

Me: "What does Yoga mean??"

Babe: "Yeah"

Me: "Yoga means Union. And that means taking things and bringing them together. Yoga is about being together"

pause

Babe: "Mom, WE'RE Together"

Yes, We are. We are together. We are all together. So simple. Now, the idea is just to remember it in every moment, no matter the situation... Make YOGA out of every instant. Simple.

Roll Call

2011-08-02T21:33:00.002-04:00

Did you ever go out with your sweetie and another person and have those awkward moments of yeah, there's somebody else here? Or go out with a group that totally gelled one time only to have it be missing one or another member the next time and it was totally lame? Or hook up with some random hodge-podge group of peeps that you'd never expect to see in the same room and have an incredibly awesome rocking good time?

That's kind of how it is to teach yoga in the summertime.

I'm sitting on my mat each day looking out into the studio just wondering who on Earth is going to show up this time, and I'm finding the surprises don't end. Regulars drop off the radar due to other commitments, travel, or new explorations. Randomites try out the practice for the heck of it. Out of towners drop-in to try the studio, or for an Anusara-Inspired fix while they pass through town. And the chemistry of the classroom is in constant flux... it's like vinegar and baking soda thrown together haphazardly with no regard for proportions so that some weeks we have a totally magical eruption of Shakti and other weeks is a weak-ass fizzle into nothingness. I mean, I still think even if it's a fizzle, it's probably an alright class... but I'd rather have the eruption week after week.

Thing is, it really matters who is in the room. It really really matters. Partially, I matter. Which one of me shows up.. Is it the stressed out mommy, the bhakti and Shakti filled little girl with the overflowing heart, is it the anatomy and UPA obsessed yoga nerd, is it the anxious scared child who thinks she can't possibly do this, or is it the unstoppable woman who knows she kicks butt? That will largely determine what happens, so I do my best to bring my Best self each time. But also, the students matter. YOU matter, I should say. And it isn't said lightly.

The first principle of Anusara yoga is Open to Grace and Set the Foundation, and the first A is Attitude. The attitude of the people who walk through the door has the ability to shift beauty to agonizing torture, or blaze avoidance to heart-felt acceptance and love. I've seen teachers take rooms full of sour pusses and turn them into gooey love muffins. I've also been in classes as the student and not been Open to Grace only to find myself sinking deeper into the pit of ugliness I've dug for myself while the people all around me appear to be having transformational openings. It all begins at the beginning. Am I open minded, Open to Grace, do I have a beginner's heart and mind? Do you when you walk through the door?

As the teacher, I'm constantly going back reminding the students in the first part of class ... show up ready, show up Open, be a beginner, listen to your breath. I think during these summer months of total chaos and unpredictability those are good reminders for myself. Show up ready, Show up Open ... Flow with Grace, and serve those right in front of me. The shake up will slow down, the volcano will stop erupting eventually and the new normal will settle in.

Until then ride the Grace... and just so you know... You are missed, You are important, You make a difference, You have the power to shift whole groups of people, You are infinitely Loved.

Make Love Monday #5

2011-08-01T07:21:00.003-04:00

This one comes from Anodea Judith. In her book Eastern Body, Western Mind she writes about opening the Heart Chakra and suggests giving love is one of the great ways to get the heart space working.

Her recommendation is:

Do something wildly unexpected for someone

Go out of your way to do something, somewhat large for someone you love. Her thought is to carry groceries for a neighbor, or treat a friend to an unexpected dinner. For me, thinking of doing this one this week feels a little challenging, honestly. But, that's the point. Growing the love in the world isn't an easy task, if it were easy we'd all be doing it already. So, I'm going to make a point, amidst all that I have to do this week, to find something extravagant to do for someone else that I love. I'll let you know how it goes....and you do the same on Facebook or in the comments to this post.

Working with What Is

2011-07-31T22:36:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote (on Saturday)

2011-07-30T19:23:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

I know, it's Saturday, but enjoy nonetheless....

"My own philosophy is love.

Yoga was a part of me reaching that full realization that

love is the ultimate thing, the only thing that lasts.

And yoga helps us realize the big questions of life,

and yoga helped me realize love is the answer"

- Ziggy Marley

Quoted in the September 2011

issue of Yoga Journal

Wild Thing, I KNOW I Love you!

2011-07-28T15:56:00.003-04:00

Wild Thing in 2007

Wild Thing, Camatkarasana, the ecstatic unfolding of the enraptured heart -- is seriously, one of my most favorite poses in the entire world. I could practice this one all day from any angle and be happy happy happy.

I'm starting to teach it a bit more often as I find it is a wonderful pose for playing the edge. And I love it for introducing students who are new to Anusara to the joy of truly fully expanding into the play at the heart of this practice. I thought I'd share some tips for unlocking the pose if you're having trouble with it.

3 Tips for a Rockin' Wild Thing Pose:

1- Step back FAR -- on the bent leg side, step back way away from yourself. It's ok to go off the mat here to really get the reach. This will build a bigger, wider foundation to stabilize from. As long as you can still access Muscular Energy from that foot up into the pelvis, I say GO FOR IT!

2 - Step UP - also on the bent leg side, step not in alignment with your shin on the straight leg side, but step more towards alignment with your knee or even a little more. This allows greater leverage to push your hips towards the sky. It also sets you up to shift into Urdhva Dhanurasana if that is your next play.

3 - Elevate your Hips - Get them in the sky! from there you can drape your entire upper body up and over with a deep shoulder loop and curl yourself back towards the floor. But if the hips don't elevate, you're stuck because you're too close to the ground to have any space to back bend.

Those are the hints I've been giving students lately and I've found they've been more successful and found the unfolding more fully when they try these things.

So, if you get WILD in the next few days, let me know how it goes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Let me Help You

2011-07-26T15:24:00.007-04:00

This week marks the beginning (again) of one of the big rites of passage for me and my daughter as we start (again) the process of potty training (her not me by the way). I say (again) because we've started this a few times in the last several months only to have it be cut short when she absolutely refused to do it, or when she got sick, or when we were to travel by airplane and that just didn't seem an appealing place for accidents to happen. Because this training process is full of accidents and laundry, you know.

In the past I wasn't quite in the right mental/emotional state to help her through what will be a big transition in her life. Some how I thought she'd just pick it up in 2 days and be done. And I figured she wasn't motivated and so that's why she would argue against it. And when it didn't happen in a few hours (have we talked about how I have ridiculous standards?) I thought maybe she just wasn't ready yet. But that wasn't the case.

Instead, this time, I'm ready. I'm totally open and ready and willing for this process to take as long as it takes, even if that means we don't leave the house for 3 weeks. And this time, I really really know and believe she can do it, and so I'm ready and able to support her and to apply a little loving pressure as needed.

In the past few days, we've had a little bit of success. Hooray! Conventional wisdom (and all my friends on facebook) says that when the child has success you instantly GO NUTS with excitement. Jump up and down, smile, scream, yell, hug, cheer, high five.. GO CRAZY!! and all of this is meant to encourage the child to do it again to get just the same amazing positive reaction.

Well, we went crazy and she sort-of freaked out. Instead of wanting to jump up and down with us, she wanted to keep it a secret. Instead of a party, she wanted to run away and cry. (sound like anyone you know, mom?)

Yesterday the truth came out that she is very very afraid. Because I was in the right mental/emotional space I was able to respond with love. To tell her that it's ok to be afraid, that she's trying something new and that's hard and I feel afraid when I do that too. To say the things I want to hear when I'm afraid myself... and to ever so gently encourage her again to try. I say what I've heard before... I know this is hard, and I know you can do it.

And so today, when success came again (hooray!) I let her keep quiet, I let her "not tell dad", I gave her a big hug and acknowledged her bravery, and we kept it on the DL (other than this blog, oops!) And a few minutes later she did her own celebration dance which I got to join in. And a few minutes after that she proudly told her dad who also reacted not with a giant party but with a hug and a high-five.

All of this finally brings me around to thinking about how we offer support. How often do I offer the support that is what I want to offer. A lot of times, I give the support that is easiest for me, or that I feel would most help in a situation but is not entirely tuned in to what is happening. In some way, I start to meet my own needs by trying to meet someone else's. If I'm offering only what I want to offer, or what I think is needed then, no matter my intention, I'm making it totally about me. Offering support and encouragement is not about me, period.

Instead of doing what I want to do, what I find is that I have to back off, to listen, and to ask. Sometimes people don't know or can't say what they need, and then I have to listen more to the other things they're saying and intuit what is needed but always, I have to get myself out of the way. When I'm out of the way, when I'm in the heart space of service no matter what is asked, I'm much better at giving support in a way that it can be received and is of value. I offer the actual support that is being asked for, that is needed for the situation. When this happens, people learn I can be trusted and I really love them, because their actual needs are getting met. (not the needs I think they might have).

So that's my plan for this week (and possibly the next and the next) get myself out of the way, so that I can be in service to support my daughter as she transitions up into the big girl world. And it's my plan for this life (and possibly the next and the next) get myself out of the way so that I can be in service to support all those I love, all those who cross my path, all those who step onto the mat in my care as they transition into the beings they wish to become.

Contemplation: How do you best offer support to those around you? What kind of support do you need when you are challenged?

Make Love Monday #4

2011-07-25T04:15:00.001-04:00

It occurred to me lately that while many of the Make Loves will be about how to connect with people outside of yourself (my personal journey) plenty more could be about how to connect with the person who lives inside of yourself. You know, make Love to yourself. In honor of that realization, this week is a personal week.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it is:

Have some Fun

For real. When is the last time you, as an adult, set aside an hour or two to do something not because you're supposed to or it makes you healthier, but just for the pure enjoyment of it. (ok, so it might just be 20 minutes) Caveats include that watching TV or using the internet, or going to the movies don't exactly count. Are you at a loss? If so, think back to when you were 5 or 8 or 10... where did you spend your day? What was your main mission? What brought you Joy? Try it. And if it's being in nature, don't just "go for a walk" actually sit on a swing or roll in the grass until you giggle, or dip your feet in a stream... well, you get the picture. Anyway, court yourself in the way only you know how. (and if you want to bring along a friend, please do, but don't get into heavy stuff, light, laughter filled conversation only, please)

Let me know how it goes!

Away

2011-07-18T17:45:00.001-04:00

I'm on vacation. See you next week!

Friday Quote #8

2011-07-15T16:48:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

Today, a little longer, almost a full poem, but where do you begin to cut and paste from a master??

Excerpt from Sunrise by Mary Oliver

... and I thought

how the sun

blazes

for everyone just

so joyfully

as it rises

under the lashes

of my own eyes, and I thought

I am so many!

What is my name?

What is the name

of the deep breath I would take

over and over

for all of us? Call it

whatever you want, it is

happiness, it is another one

of the ways to enter

fire.

Abundance

2011-07-13T15:59:00.003-04:00

YUM!

These lovely tomatoes (and about as many more that have already been eaten) came to me by way of Mary yesterday. Mary is yet another lovely and inspiring spirit who comes to class each week. She said she was literally over run with tomatoes in her garden right now, so she brought some to me. What is so cool to me, other than how awesome that Mary thought to bring them, is that a few weeks ago I was thinking of telling the students that I'd take unwanted veggies --because due to the shadiness of my yard I can't grow them (and possibly my brown thumb has something to do with it too). So here she comes in with this great bag of tomatoes for me to totally relish in eating. So sweet.

Tomatoes as a gift of abundance, fullness. There was a lot of talk at the Grand Circle about fullness, purna, and abundance. This fullness of garden reminds me a lot of what Hareesh explained as the creation of all that is. In a paraphrase, he said that Shakti is so full, literally so entirely full of herself that she overflows. It is this overflowing that creates all that is manifest in this world. It is not created out of need, necessity, or desire. We exist simply because she is so full she chooses not to contain herself, and is totally delighted to continue to create without restriction, well past what is "needed."

I think any vegetable gardener this time of year in Virginia can completely relate to the overflowing quality of abundance. All I can say is I'm so grateful for it all... and doesn't it taste good?

Contemplation: Where is your cup overflowing today?

Holy Sweat!

2011-07-12T14:35:00.002-04:00

I took a pranaflow class this morning. And, like the title of this post, what I can say is : Holy Sweat! Pranaflow with the windows open in Richmond in the summer -- even at 9:30 am -- is a very sweaty practice. Which is precisely why it was totally wonderful.

Some days and months and years I practice all in my little box. I LOVE Anusara (obviously) but there are times when I get so spun up in the principles and locked into my favorite sequences that the practice becomes dry, blocked, or just plain boring. I know this is a reflection of not being Open to Grace. And if I were attending class regularly I think this wouldn't happen quite so often, learning from an actual live teacher brings so much wisdom into my body. But as I'm not practicing with a teacher on a weekly basis right now, I have to do something to break through the binds.

Pranaflow class this morning offered that little shake up. There simply isn't time to luxuriate in slow in-depth movement through the 5 principles and 7 loops. There is barely time to breath one breath before diving from one posture to the next in a sequence that would hardly be John Friend approved. And that's why it is SO much fun for me. All the rules I follow go out the window and I am able to literally follow the prana around on my mat until I am totally exhausted in a sweaty, open, hot-mess on the floor. It is liberating and a little rebellious. Throw the rules out the window into the 90 degree day. ALL of them and just sweat and enjoy moving. Ah!

I am not particularly inspired, I am not moved to make myself and the world a better place, I don't hugely feel connected or even aware of the others I practice with, I could honestly hurt myself if I didn't know how to align. I am definitely not anywhere near having a spiritual experience in the way that I have come to know having them. BUT when I practice in that class and leave it I am so deliciously IN my body, and in movement, conversation, and pulsation with all the cells in my body, none of that stuff matters. I'm not giving up Anusara anytime soon. I will, however, be frequenting pranaflow class every time I could use a little shake up in my body and practice.

Whew! Pass the water please!

Contemplation: How do you break free from ruts in your practice? What shakes up your life (in a good way)?

Make Love Monday #3

2011-07-11T13:48:00.004-04:00

Today's tip comes from Audra. She's a lovely lovely lady who also happens to practice with me often, so I'm extra lucky to know her in person, not just online.

Audra's tip for sharing more love is:

Write a handwritten note

This one is timely for me because just yesterday after class a student brought me a print out of an email he'd received. On the email he wrote a kind little note reminding me again of how he has connected repeatedly with a teaching I offered back in the spring. It struck my heart that he took the time to print out the email and put it in an envelope for me, but it struck me even more that he actually included his own thought with it. So very kind and totally personal.

I think that's a part about the offering of more love. It is taking time to give personal recognition and attention to those in our lives, or those who cross our paths in the moment. The personal attention is something that we seem to be short on giving and receiving these days, so if you can do it with a tiny little note or a super long letter this week, you just might make someone you love's day. Let me know how it goes, and I'll keep you posted too.

Dive In

2011-07-09T14:23:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting facing the wrong way, setting up to teach my Sunday morning class. Some students have already taken their seats, others are milling about not paying attention. Why am I facing my back to the door? I notice someone with white hair come in and take a seat. Holy Crap! It's John Friend. John Friend is in my class! This is new, he's usually spinning me around by my wrists, or teaching me something amazing, or passing me on the street.

We take our seats. John Friend is in my class. I begin, only I don't bother to unfold my theme and heart-virtue, I just launch right into eyes-closed centering. Some students still aren't even in their seats. What am I doing!?! I finish, we open our eyes, and John launches into reminding me that I didn't introduce the theme... and all the other ways I did not start the practice properly.

Thank God I wake up and take a deep breath.

To say I am intimidated by John would be the understatement of the year. I assume he's awesome and a wonderful teacher to be in direct relationship with. I've also heard stories that make me quite afraid to out myself to him as a prospective Certified Teacher. It's all good, he has standards to uphold and I totally respect that. I see my fear as a way of letting me know I'm probably not quite ready.

But it's on the way. One day I WILL have to out myself. I will have to stand up very firmly and uphold my belief that I can be a Certified Teacher, to prove to him and anyone else that I am worthy to be a Certified teacher. Right now, though I just completed all the hours I need and technically could go for it, right now is not yet the time and I know it. I figure when I feel confident having any Certified teacher walk into my class without it throwing me off my game, and my game being a Rocking Anusara Class, that will be the time to tell John I'm ready to go.

Two days after my dream the first teacher I'd ever had in this method walked through the door and into my class. It's the closest I can get to having John walk in right here in Richmond. Shock, Awe, Humility.... A big reminder from the Universe. Time again to dive in even deeper. The student molded again and again into the teacher I am meant to be one day.

Friday Quote #7

2011-07-08T15:18:00.004-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

photo by Andrew Eccles

"When we dance, the leg doesn't want to always go

happily into the air - frankly, it would rather be on the ground.

But there's something about the effort it takes

to achieve beauty that makes magic."

-Robert Battle,

Choreographer, and new director

of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater

Quoted in O July 2011

My Apologies

2011-07-07T15:01:00.002-04:00

John Friend describes apologizing after teaching his first class. "I'm sorry" "I'm so sorry." That's how I feel after I teach Hip Openers. I don't know what the deal is but I feel like I have to apologize for teaching a big long hip opening sequence. What is funny about it is that John says that those students in the first class enthusiastically thanked him for the practice... and, that's exactly what happens to me after I teach a Hip Opening sequence. People look at me with a far off dreamy gaze and utter words of thanks in a way that let's me know it was an effective practice for them. It's usually something along the lines of: "That was SOOOO good." and it's said in a way that might make my husband suspicious if he didn't know what we were up to. I assume they then make the way home and off into bed and hopefully into a deep deep sleep with a deeply soothed body and mind. (this would be for the evening classes)

And so, comes the confession. I've been a Hip Opening slacker in the last few years. As I've attended fewer classes and been on my own for practice, I just haven't done them as often. It's partially because my hips are pretty darn open, especially after having a baby. And it's also because I haven't seen the value. And I hate to confess to not seeing the benefit, and even to being remiss in any part of my practice. But, after probably almost 3 years of slacking on Hip Openers I'm finding a new appreciation for them in the life of my practice.

Here's what Hip Openers have been doing for me lately:

Increasing circulation in my legs, hips, pelvis, and lower back
Increasing range of motion in those places
Promoting a general sense of calm peacefulness and even groundedness
Releasing stored creative energy
Improving digestion
Increasing apana and therefore decreasing anxiety
Increasing my energy level in a very calm way
Calming my brain enough that I get quiet enough to actually let go for a while (soothing my nervous system and deeper into my koshas I believe)
Promoting stillness in my body, which I seldom experience except if I'm asleep

And well, I just feel better when I make sure to keep them as a steady, regular part of my practice. They aren't super showy. They aren't a huge aerobic workout. The general ones don't particularly challenge me (but that's just in my mind, taking class with Desiree Rumbaugh two weeks ago alerted me to my own negligence on building power through hip opening). But they do calm, relax and re-energize me every time I practice them. Who wouldn't want that?

And so, I think it's time to introduce hip openers more regularly to my classes and to stop apologizing for it. Ya'll get ready... creativity and peace are about to crack wide open in the seat of your hips!

What is your favorite Hip Opening posture and why? And what benefit do you get from a hip opening practice?

Make Love Monday #2

2011-07-04T07:03:00.001-04:00

Today's tip also, a sweet and easy one.

Welcome Others

Try it when you're sitting in your normal class and somebody new comes in (especially if you're not the teacher). Do you remember back to middle school, being in the lunchroom and not knowing who to sit with? Yeah, it's not such a great feeling. So welcome others into your yoga class, your lunch table at work, your home if you know a friend is struggling, your girlfriend date, or into your holiday plans if you're celebrating today.

This is one that I struggle with because I think of myself as Shy. But after spending time with some amazing Certified teachers I see how much of an impact it can be to feel welcomed into a group. Lila put it beautifully: I don't like to be exclusionary of anybody.

So look for a chance or many chances to welcome someone this week and see what happens. You might just make a life long friend! Leave a comment to let me know how it goes.

Friday Quote #6 (on Thursday)

2011-06-30T12:05:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

"If you are grounded in the Absolute, any amount of change

and transformation becomes for you an expression of beauty."

--Hareesh speaking on Tantra at the Grand Circle (6/21/11)

Enjoy this quote a little early as I head out of town to visit with family for a few days. Happy weekend!

Holding Sacred Space - a trip to Target

2011-06-28T15:06:00.003-04:00

They turn all places into sacred places

Sutra 69 of the Narada Bhakti Sutra

as translated by Bill Mahoney

On day 2 of the Grand Circle Bill Mahony spoke on his new translation of the Narada Bhakti Sutra. One sound bite stuck with me: "When there is Love, and we are immersed in it, we see all places as places of pilgrimage, as sacred. And we treat them as so."

Really, all places as sacred? ALL of them?

Today I had to run an errand to Target. It was after my practice of backbends and asking once again for blessings of Grace, which may be the only reason it even crossed my mind to ask the question: Can Target possibly be a sacred space? Seriously, I had my doubts but decided to create the space in my heart and see what happened.

My connection to sacred space brings me back to my upbringing in a beautiful Episcopalian church in Southwest Virginia. Since that time I've expanded my view to include many places of nature, and certainly my yoga mat. But the church or a temple is a place I think of when I think of a sacred place to make a pilgrimage towards. The place to go that is consistently held as sacred.

Target, with the florescent lighting and over filled aisles, doesn't exactly line up to my recollections of the churches and temples I've prayed in before. But, didn't Bill say All places? Best to give it the benefit of the doubt. And thank Shiva/Shakti I did because this was an experiment that quickly shifted my view.

Upon entering with a heart set for sacredness I quickly released some of my ego-driven self when I realized it doesn't matter one bit how cool I look. Sacred space doesn't care one lick if I have on a cute outfit or the latest fashions. What a relief, because as I mentioned, I'd just finished practice and was in throw on clothes. That realization immediately took me out of worrying about how I presented myself on the outside and brought me back to how I presented my heart on the inside.

Next, I noticed that just by holding the aisles as sacred, by viewing the girls' sundresses like beautiful stained-glass windows, my breath deepened and slowed. I slipped into a soft ujjayi. It was a sensation of calm and wonder that again opened me past my ego sense of self.

Then I just started to get nutty. I mean, well, yes, it is Target, but I started to see the connection of all of us. Aren't all of us there on a quest? We're there on a search for something. Some of us know what we want and go directly there, others may not even know what we're looking for, but we are looking for something. Something to connect to and hopefully make life a little easier. I personally found the waterproof mattress cover that was needed for my daughter's new big girl bed -- assuring me of less pain and suffering when the nighttime potty training kicks in. (yes, it's low on the pain and suffering scale, I know) But everyone there was on a pilgrimage of some sort. Was it a pilgrimage to reach the Highest Bliss imaginable? Probably not. Was everyone hoping to improve their lives in some way? Quite possibly. I realize I could launch into a huge discussion on finding our way out of pain and suffering by buying happiness, but let's save that for another time, shall we? Just knowing everyone there was hoping to gain a little more happiness gave me greater compassion for the shoppers around me, opened my eyes a little wider to the wonder of the world, and let it slide off my back when someone pretty much cut me off on the way to the check out counter.

So, I'm still not sure if Bill Mahony would say that Target is inherently sacred as a stand alone entity. But, I will say that when I set my mind and my heart on relating to the experience as if it was, I was quickly and remarkably shifted. Most sweetly, a simple realization of universality. Universality that doesn't need cool clothes, but recognizes that it's the inside that counts. Universality that we all share the same breath. Universality that we all want to be happy. Universality that we are all connected -- not just we the yogis, but we are ALL connected, even the shoppers at Target.

(and I made sure to smile at the clerk on the way out, and she smiled back. Sweetness)

What do you think, can Target be sacred? Can anywhere be sacred space?

Make Love Monday #1

2011-06-27T13:19:00.001-04:00

Make Love Monday -- a mission to create a more loving world by being aware of how we interact with each other and choosing connection. Try this practice sometime during the week.

Today's first Make Love Monday is pretty simple. It comes out of a personal attempt to brighten up myself and my world. So here's your first tip:

Smile at people - Do it OFTEN

Yogis are beautiful radiant beings and I often find myself grinning from ear to ear after a sweet heart opening practice. I smile because I'm feeling good inside and out. But don't you feel better when someone near you is smiling? It brightens up the room. I'm not suggesting you become the Kool-aid guy, but a nice natural smile for your server at dinner, for the person at the grocery store, for the person who cuts you off in traffic could help the day move more smoothly. And of course -- smile at your child, your sweetie, your parent or boss. See what happens if in the course of a simple conversation you add a hint of a smile to your face. We might just brighten everyone's day.

Leave a comment and let me know how it goes! Even put a picture of your beautiful smile on my facebook page.

Friday Quote #5

2011-06-24T15:46:00.002-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

Love is an important topic.

The world needs more love.

We can bring it to the world.

It can infuse ourselves and we, the yogis, will bring it forward.

-Bill Mahony (At Anusara Grand Circle 6/21/2011)

Saturated in Greatness

2011-06-23T11:24:00.011-04:00

Before I left for the Grand Circle I was literally instructed to "Hang out with Greatness" while I was there. (As if it were possible not to hang out with greatness at an Anusara event.) I feel exceptionally lucky to have been able to attend and I extend gratitude to my mother for keeping my daughter so I could come. But soon after arrival on Sunday night, I realized just how auspicious it was to be there. This first Grand Circle was surprisingly intimate. Maybe 250 or 300 total people were in attendance. With such a small number of participants I literally bumped into greatness at every turn.

First, of course, there was the accessibility of John himself. Aside from the mind-blowing and wildly inspirational 3 hour morning sessions, there were times when he was just hanging out. You know,"like a normal person" one of my friends said. That, in and of itself was incredible because whenever I've practiced with him at workshops I've always only seen him whooshed in and out of the practice space, never simply hanging out among friends.

But also, the schedule provided opportunities to practice and learn from great teachers in the tradition. Each day, philosophy talks were offered by Hareesh, John, or Bill Mahoney. Then there were the break out classes with Certified teachers (I practiced with Elena Brower, Desiree Rumbaugh, and The Carolina girls Stacy Milner-Collins and Sara Faircloth with Bill). In the evening, fireside Satsang with John, Hareesh, and Bill again. And I didn't even have time to take part in class with Kenny Graham, Sianna Sherman, Naime Jezzeny, Deb Neubauer, or Zhenja LaRosa. Everyone I knew commented on how it was a problem of abundance, the perfect problem to have.

And those were just the scheduled events. On the lawn of Village Anusara was an air of a relaxed family reunion -- no drama attached. With the help of the ever so fabulous Certified Teacher Lila Pierce Brown of Raleigh, NC, I was introduced to great beings, in the form of Anusara yogis, and tons of Certified teachers including Bernadette Birney and Desiree Rumbaugh. One afternoon I looked around and found myself in the writers' group in the company of Elena, Bernadette, Sue Elkin (author of the Anusara prenatal manual), Ellen Saltonstall, Susanna Harwood Rubin, Elizabeth Goodman, and many others just like myself. Another moment I looked around and found myself sharing a picnic blanket with all Certified teachers: Sue Elkin and Naime Jezzeny, Sarah Faircloth, Lila, and Susanna Harwood Rubin. I stopped to chat with Christopher, the installation artist as he created his art on the lawn of the village. More than once I found myself in the company of the incredibly talented musician Todd Boston. I even spoke a few times to the Grammy Winning percussionist Jeff Haynes (who appeared totally stoked to be participating in an Anusara event with John for the first time).

Each one was as gracious as the next. Welcoming, genuinely interested in myself and the others around. Normal. But at a higher level of normal - normal without all the anxiety and self-limitation. Normal in the way that people who are seated in their hearts are normal. Sweet, kind, loving even. I found this across the board. All the greats were great. And I say this not to name drop, but to illustrate just how welcoming everyone was, and how available to us (the normal peeps).

But also, the Anusara practitioners in attendance were so beautiful and sweet. Many of those I met were new to Anusara or new to events with John. To see them transform over the three days and get super shiny was incredibly inspiring. Some students who attend my own class ROCKED Urdhva D for the first time at this event. And, I can tell you, they walked through the Village like a new people. It was total auspicious magic.

On Wednesday afternoon I stood in the middle of Village Anusara as the Solstice sun was setting and looked around. Folks around me were hooping, slack lining, dancing, chatting, eating, and listening to awesome music by dj leif... and I thought "These are my people". As in, THIS is my tribe. I belong here.

On Thursday morning as the rains came and mats and bodies were drenched through during John's practice I couldn't help but realize we, the lucky ones to be present at such an auspicious moment as this first Anusara Grand Circle, were truly Saturated in Greatness.

Friday Quote

2011-06-17T14:11:00.004-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

Todd Norian Rocks!

Anusara is flowing with Grace by saying yes to the whole

magical spectrum of life. It is a willingness to be aware of

all parts of ourselves - the light and the dark, the full rainbow

of sensation, perception, emotion and thought. To be in the flow

is to look at whatever arises with freshness and freedom.

It is simply to open our hearts with love to the present moment

without clinging or pushing. Anusara is accepting the world

and ourselves as we are,and then responding with love.

-John Friend (Anusara Teacher Training Manual 9th ed.)

A longer thought as I'll be taking off for the Grand Circle next week. If I have the internet I may try to check in... but I may also just enjoy being unplugged from the world and DEEPLY plugged in to the Anusara Community. Have a lovely weekend and a great Solstice Week!

H 2 Oh Yeah... Get cher drink on!

2011-06-16T15:46:00.003-04:00

By way of a reminder... it's summertime, up your water intake.

On Monday I got up from sitting on our lounge chair on the back deck and was walking into the house when I got what I generally think of as a sonic boom to my head. It made me lose my balance and fall down and sort-of black out. I fainted, or almost fainted, or something.

This sometimes happens when I practice. Not so much that I fall down usually (though I have fallen at least once) Usually it is that I'm coming up from a forward bend and I lose my bearings for a moment. My head gets cloudy and I get a big pulsation.

I think of it as Shakti .. she's moving fiercely through me awakening my every cell and cooking out impurities.

My doctor seems to think it may have something to do with dehydration. OH, yeah, that too. I think it's so crazy. I'm a yogini I'm like super in touch with my body... but apparently not. I personally don't particularly like to drink and I don't like the feeling of a full belly of water. But I also don't like skinning my knee and elbow, or feeling unsteady on my legs, OR being told not to roll out my mat the week before I go to the Grand Circle. The thing is, we need that water and especially when practicing a yoga that is intense and active such as Anusara. Even without sweat pouring out, I'm doing a massive amount of cleansing and water is the only thing that will help the toxicity move OUT instead of taking up residence elsewhere in my cells.

I'm not sure what the recommendations really are. They change every day it seems, but what makes the most sense to me is to drink until your pee runs clear, and keep it that way. All day. Every day. (and yes, I realize I just wrote pee in my blog! gasp!)

So, that is my reminder to myself and everyone else. Drink more Water! Make yourself float in it, especially as the temperatures climb.

(and just to put aside any wonderings, I'm most definitely NOT expecting, I promise)

Going to the Circle

2011-06-14T09:12:00.003-04:00

I'm getting geared up to go to the Anusara Grand Circle in Vermont next week. I'm excited. Well, I'm very excited and as always a little daunted. This is my first really big Anusara event. So, it really will rock and I need to get over myself. What I'm doing in preparation (instead of tons and tons of crazy asana) is lots of heart-opening practice... meditation, yoga nidra, even some restoratives... so that I'm SO open when I get there that I can absorb and soak in all that is offered. I want to be a big love sponge, because, I know it will be awesome.

Following the Grand Circle will be Wanderlust, VT. I wish I could stay but won't be able to this time.. child at home, you know... but one day I will attend. This video is made by one of my teacher training buddies, Matthew Caton, who also happens to be a cinematographer (like my husband). He released it about a year and a half ago, after the first Wanderlust out west. So check it out and see what this Music/Yoga lovefest is all about... Enjoy!

Love Love Love

2011-06-13T20:16:00.002-04:00

This morning I sat on my cushion and opened my heart. I did it from the inside, rather than trying to knock my way in which has been my (unsuccessful) practice of late. Instead I created a vacuum in my heart and invited Shakti-Ma, the Divine mother to fill it. And she did. She literally rushed in with the biggest inhale I've felt in a while and that was followed by another and another. And I just sat there filled with love, as Love.

And that's it. Really. That's IT. The point, to me, is Love. All the time.

I think we always say 'you have to learn to love yourself'

but really it should be ' you have to learn you are Love, yourself'

and I think I've finally figured out what I'm meant to be teaching people.

You are Love

(and psst... Love = God = Love, same same)

I Love Ya'll. (if anyone's reading this)

Friday Quote

2011-06-10T09:08:00.001-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

"Because of deep love, one is courageous" Lao-tzu

Bee my Honey

2011-06-09T15:17:00.002-04:00

You know, I just need to know that I need to be careful what I put out there into the Universe.

Tuesday night I taught a class on working with Fear. On starting to take small steps towards the goals that you're afraid of reaching. Of taking Action when you feel fear.

Wednesday I got just that opportunity, except that small steps weren't really called for... Huge ACTIONS were required for this one. When I went downstairs Wednesday evening to start the oven to make dinner there was a suspicious buzzing sound in my kitchen. 10 bees were buzzing around the inside of the window, more were coming out of the oven fan vent, and from the inside was an ominous continuation of the Buzz! BEES! I swore, and then ran out of the room shaking with fear! O. M. G! BEES! And I am home alone with a two year old. With BEES!

Thing is, with fearful situations I really just want to run away. Avoid avoid avoid. But when I'm the mom and my husband is 15 hours away by plane and more bees are coming in, avoidance really isn't going to work. Action is 100% totally REQUIRED.

So, because I love myself, I love my daughter, I love our home and I wanted to have dinner, I dressed in my heavy clothes and shoes, put on leather gloves and went in.

I can tell you Ahimsa (non-violence) quickly went out the window when I couldn't figure out how to herd those little creatures outside. At least I did try that first, I think one little bee made it out. Then my big shoe landed heavily. I'm not proud of it. I'm apparently not a Buddhist monk just yet. It was a terrifying, stress producing, heart pounding moment of sheer will to conquer the bees and keep us safe. And my pounding heart reminded me that I'm alive and I can still feel emotions to this day.

Then I turned on the oven fan and blew the rest of the bees out into the daytime. The oven fan has been on ever since except for one hour this morning ... and 3 bees made their way back into the house in that time... so they got the shoe treatment too and I'm NOT turning off the fan again until the exterminators show up to help.

In these moments, when I am facing real fear, fear that arises out of a situation in which I or my child could feel pain (I know bee stings aren't awful, but I don't really want to just go get one) I am SO glad I practice yoga. And, I am SO glad I practice a yoga that challenges me, and pushes my edges. That I practice poses that scare me from time to time. Because when the real fear arises (after swearing once or twice and running away) I get super clear. I don't fall into a heap of tears and stress. I get super super decisive, clear, focused and motivated to do what needs to be done. I feel the fear and take the action that is required... even when I don't want to... and my breath and my blood pressure stay under control so I don't have a heart attack in the midst of it all. Whew. So, this coping with fear through yoga, it's a real thing. With real applications in my life. And on days like yesterday and today I am SO SO SO glad that I practice and so grateful for all of the many gifts this practice brings to me.

And, I'm really grateful that I can pick up the phone and have someone arrive at my door to help me.

Contemplation: Fear, taking action, yoga... real life? Discuss.

OMG! I am SOooo Important!

2011-06-06T20:47:00.003-04:00

(AKA how I convince myself it's Ok not to make real connections)

OMG! do you know how important I am? let me just tell you all the things I've done which make me SO important....

First Graduate school, then Graduate school with a kick-butt internship

working with psychiatric patients and a big long commute to do every week

Then a bad break-up

Then a new relationship

Then getting married

Then a new job with psychiatric patients and a really

long commute, "I work long hours to do what I love"

Then Yoga Teacher Training

Then I just quit my job and went to Bali .. and then to Italy to boot

Then I teach a little yoga and I'm doing Immersions

Then I'm pregnant

Then I have a young baby (and my baby needs a cast, and I have a shoulder injury)

Then ANUSARA teacher training

And now I have a young child AND I teach yoga.

I mean, I TEACH YOGA.... Anusara-Inspired Yoga,

That must make me really important, you know?

Holy Shiva/Shakti! somebody stop me from importancing myself right out of my own life! Or, well, maybe I'll just take the responsibility myself to clean up the mess that all of this has made.

So, to rewind. A few months ago I was walking in to teach class one evening and had a realization. Part of why I like teaching is because it makes me feel important. People are counting on me to be there. People are interested in what I have to say. I make an impact, or so I am told. It's hard not to get a bit of an ego around those things. And in the next moment I realized how much I then used those lovely excuses as reasons NOT to make connections with the people who matter most in my real life. (I can't connect, I have to go teach, I have to plan my classes, I have to practice now, I have to go to this workshop... etc.) The realization went something like this: If I suddenly vanished off the face of the planet, disappeared into cosmic dust struck down by a lightning bolt from Shiva's third eye let's say, who would be most affected? I certainly hope the yoga students would still do yoga. They would find a new teacher and carry on. The people who would be most affected for the rest of their lives would be my mother and my daughter. Then my husband and father and siblings and friends, co-workers, students etc.

And who do you think I tended to take the most advantage of in my life? and spend the least amount of time connecting to? [my mom, my daughter, my husband] And who do you think I saved myself for? and gave my all, my best to? [yoga students] I realize my priorities were a bit skewed. From that day on I've made much more of an effort to be sure to call my mother, and to connect with my daughter in a real one-to-one way.

Thing is, what I'm realizing is that I'm seriously afraid of real intimate connections. And so to avoid the fear, I make my life super important. So important, in fact, that I can't possibly connect in a real and deep way with anyone. All of these reasons listed above become the excuses for not being in physical proximity with friends/family, for not picking up the phone and having meaningful conversations. And really, they're all just crummy excuses. In the long run they leave me lonely, disconnected, and blaming others for the misfortune I've upheld.

Welcome yoga and meditation into my life. Thank Shiva/Shakti. Awareness is a beautiful thing, and now that I'm deeply and painfully aware of this situation, I'm working to change it. Starting at the closest most intimate relationships and slowly working my way out I am connecting more in many sweet and powerful ways. I mean, if I want to really change the world into a truly loving place, it can't just be with the people on their mats, it should really be with the people who live in my house and in my heart, right?

So if you're my friend, or family member or yoga student even, and you catch me making myself sound "important" especially so important that I can't listen to you, be available in your time of need, or just hang out, please call me out on it. You can seriously say "Wow, I never realized just how important you are." We'll have a good laugh and get on with making the real connection, the one that is truly important and will maintain our lives in a way we deeply deeply want and deserve.

I think when I truly get down to the depth of connection that I want to have with everyone in my life the world might be blown open with the force of love that comes wildly bounding out of my heart. Fear, is no reason to stop the flow of love and it's time for me to take a step forward on this path. I'll let you know how it goes.

(Even on the blog, if I sound blown up, knock me down a bit would you?)

Contemplation: What's so "important" in your life, and what is really IMPORTANT to you? How do your actions reflect what you value most?

Friday Quote

2011-06-03T15:49:00.006-04:00

Friday Quote: A regular offering of some words to ponder over the weekend. If you do the same in your space, leave a comment with a link so that we all may grow together.

"It is not too late at all. You just don't yet know what you are capable of."

- Mahatma Gandhi

Magic Moments

2011-06-02T15:50:00.002-04:00

The return to my world after the trip has been filled with these little moments of magic. And as we all know, little moments of magic are what make the world so much more fun and our lives anything but ordinary.

Yesterday, in the midst of everything (returning from my trip, getting ready for my husband to leave for 10 days, a grouchy 2 year old) I was gifted with time with a girlfriend and her dog to walk through the woods by the river. Richmond is made a very lovely place by having the James River running right by the downtown. And we're lucky to have wild park space on many of the banks. So C and I had time to walk with the doggie into the woods and chat. At one one moment we had this brief second of imaginary play that was so incredibly fun. Just speaking about the possibility of dragons or fairies hiding in the branches sparked such a lightness of heart. Why is it not ok for grown adults to go out into the woods and pretend to be fairy princesses? This must change. I told her next time I'm bringing a fairy wand... maybe wings and a tutu too. It was a taste of magic... and rejuvenation to sit by the water too. but more on that another day.
And then in my practice, I realized I never inhale. I mean, obviously I do inhale because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to type, but I never do it with much awareness. I'll be in a pose and say I'm holding this for 10 breaths or something but the breaths are all exhales. So yesterday when I started to inhale. It was -- not to be too cheezy-- a breath of fresh air! My practice of inversions felt magically transformed. From something that is hard work that I have to grunt and groan through to something that was a fun sweet little adventure. How wonderful was that? This will be an ongoing exploration to be sure.
And some how I just knew this morning that my day would be up and down and all around and instead of dreading it or running away -- I made sure to meditate AND do a little asana (usually reserved for later) and even with the twisty turns I've stayed much less reactive and have been so centered. THAT really is magic somedays.

Contemplation: What feels like magic for you?

Playing HOOKY

2011-05-31T16:28:00.003-04:00

Mermaid (in stretch jeans, yeouch!)

at Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs, CO

I'm totally not going in to teach class tonight even though I'm on the schedule to do it. I'm SO playing hooky. (Responsibly. I did get a sub way in advance and told the class I wouldn't be there). I'm sitting here at home... taking the night OFF. I love to teach. And sometimes I still need a moment when it feels like I have a break and I'm off the hook. Ah.

Well, this night off break is well deserved after my weekend. I had a fun time being with my brother and his family in Colorado. My daughter and I shared many sweet interactions and then flew back last night, landing around midnight. It was super fun but made particularly more fun because I didn't have to worry about planning a class for the day I got back. And I didn't have to worry about keeping up my practice while jet lagged so that I'd be ready to demonstrate anything the day I got back. My brain and my body and my heart all appreciated the break. Taking this little night off is a big step towards taking care of myself. And, it's OK. Thank goodness.

Who knows what the sub will bring them, but I know the students are in good hands. And I, personally, feel super wonderful to linger in my vacation just a few hours longer.

Contemplation: What does it look and feel like to you to "play hooky?"